ajPERSPECTIVE

New Site!

2011-10-25T16:48:00.000-07:00

I am super excited to announce the launch of my all-new website: ajperspective.com! This has been something I've wanted to do for a long time now and am so excited it's finally happening. It will be a little of everything I love in life: my family, crochet, quilts, photography, design work, and crafting in general. It will house a special showcase of products I am selling as well as a portal for placing orders, including custom work.

Thank you for all for the years you've spent following this blog. It will always have a special place in my heart. It was an outlet for me through some of the most crazy, insane, difficult, and wonderful times of my adult life. I have already transferred all my posts to the new site so I can remember everything that's happened (you know my memory is terrible)! I will continue to blog through the new site and have already posted a few new things there for you, including a new section called MY QUOTABLE KID! You're gonna love it!

If you want to receive updates of when I post at the new site, I'll make an RSS link available on the homepage. You can save it as a bookmark in your web browser.

And finally, here's the link to the new site... go crazy, spread it around, share it with your friends and family:

ajperspective.com

Don't Worry...

2011-09-23T17:56:00.000-07:00

... Be happy, mon! This oh-so-happy hat is my latest completed crochet project and is now for sale in my "shop" to the first person to claim it! Click read more for all the specs!

Size: 22.5" circumference, will stretch an additional 1-2"
Cost: $20 shipped

Today was a fantastically calm day for me and the kiddo. Daddy had a meeting out of town that was to last aaaaallllll day so Baby K and I decided to stay home instead of tagging along like we would normally have done. So after he left at the crack of dawn (for normal folks, that's a little before 7am) we slept in for another hour and took the day off, which meant lots of movies for her and lots of crocheting for me.

The crochet part of my day didn't begin on such a high note... I've been working on a gorgeous shell design hat for little girls and finally decided I must have something wrong this morning and frogged (rip-it, rip-it) the whole thing a little before lunch. After weighing my options for re-starting the Shell Hat, I opted for working on something new for a while. Well, "a while" turned into my project for the rest of the day. I cranked out most of the hat while the kiddo was napping (in addition to watch this fabulous documentary on Origami - anyone else want to take it up with me???) and was close to done by the time the hubby wandered home this evening. Overall I'm pleased with the final turnout, hopeful that I can sell it, and mostly just grateful for a relaxing day of doing something I love after a week of craziness!

For Sale

2011-09-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, I've been working the last couple weeks on a few items for sale. I only have a limited number so the first people to claim them get them! :) Check them out!

Winter Hats, Size: 15.5" (appx 6 months) - $12 each shipped

Ladies' Headbands - $3 each + shipping

Back-(B)logged

2011-05-04T18:43:00.000-07:00

I've got such a back-log of blogs. In the last few months I've been busy sewing, crafting, creating, cooking, confronting, and designing... maybe too busy because I haven't been able to blog about any of it. So... this blog is dedicated to Design Work!

I have done a TON of design work here recently, mostly ministry-related as usual. Here are a few things I'm most proud of:

Kristen's Cards

Kristen is a new staff member, old student / friend at SFA Chi Alpha. Truth be told, she's the reason the group didn't disintegrate the first year we were here. She finishes up her Master's degree this May and will join the staff here working mostly with the girls' leadership. She is currently in the process of raising her support and she needed a business card for connection purposes. This is what we came up with for her to use. I worked up two options for her, one vertical back and the other horizontal. In the end, she chose the vertical.

ICON Guest Guides

My church has been in the process of re-vamping their "look" and I get to be part of the changes! Up first was some literature for guests on Sunday mornings. I did quite a bit of research, scouring the web looking at what other churches are using and found several that were very helpful! In the end, this is what we came up with: The blue page is perforated and will be returned to us. It has a short questionnaire to help us with contacting guests for follow-up and a spot for prayer requests on the back. The other four panels are stuffed full of information - the name of the game on this piece was definitely strategic use of space! We have a brief overview of our theological beliefs - where to find us online - a welcome note from our Lead Pastors - a little explanation of what to expect on a Sunday morning - and an overview schedule of weekly activities offered. Whew! Finished size is 11" wide x appx. 6.5" tall, tri-fold. Sadly, due to a major miscommunication with the printer, we did not have them ready for our HUGE Easter Sunday service. Oh well... next year!

Church Maps

Our church property is large and confusing! Our sanctuary is round (built pre-1970's probably) with crazy little off-shoots everywhere. Then a few years back they added a new building in the back that houses Sunday school classes, a large gymnasium, and a full industrial kitchen. To help guests find their way around we have designed these double-sided cards with color-coded map. The reverse would have Sunday's activities but would look exactly the same. I was surprisingly pleased with the turnout and like the visual connection back to the Guest Guide. The plan is to insert these cards into the Guest Guide and they've been sized (hopefully - we have yet to print them) accordingly. But my favorite part of the entire design was the decision to white-out the ICON logo in the lower left corner! :)

Work in Progress - Nursery Graphics

This is the logo I've been working on for the soon-to-be-updated Nursery at our church. I LOVE kids, the smaller the better, and our church has an amazing ministry to children on Sunday nights. We are working right now to improve the quality of childcare on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights to better reflect our church's crazy love for kids! And I'm super excited because I get to be part of it all! In my excitement, I started working on graphics - maybe a little ahead of the game, but seeing something like this helps me get a feel for how the entire program could be run! Hopefully it will feel like these logos - fun, simple, trendy, and, of course, ALL about kids!
These are possible designs for hallway signage in the nursery hallway. Theoretically, we would have multiple classes for children not yet old enough to participate in Children's Church, broken down into ages suitable to play with each other: birth - walking and walking - 2/3 years. Aren't you just IN LOVE with these animal characters???

Back in the Kitchen

2011-05-04T17:46:00.000-07:00

I cooked my first meal post-Katelyn's-surgery tonight and it really did feel great to be back in my kitchen! That said, it wasn't my best: Shepherd's Pie with corn that definitely needed more spices! I tend to over-salt my Shepherd's Pie so I was trying to avoid that... which I guess I did, I just also avoided any flavor at all. Oh well - there's just something about eating a meal you cooked in your very own house that makes even the most bland meal taste great!

Faithful to My Heart

2011-04-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

I know it's silly. I know it's irrational. But it's still what I laid awake thinking about last night.

My child is lying sick in a hospital bed - she's 18 months old and had surgery yesterday. I should have been thinking about doctors and antibiotics and stitches and gauze. But all I could think about was her Easter basket.

See, it got left behind accidentally when we made our made dash for Dallas. We didn't mean to leave it; it's just a funny thing that happens when you hear the words, "she might need surgery" spoken about your toddler: all other brain function ceases. So her Easter goodies are still sitting in our closet.

I have been working on that basket for the last month. She has such fun things waiting for her! She has pretty pink and purple bracelets (plastic, of course) - and some candy... not so much for her teeth to rot instantly, but enough to ensure a few trips to the dentist (plus, enough for Mommy and Daddy to have a taste, too) - and her big surprise is a set of beach toys for our trip this summer! I also spent a solid week hand-sewing a set of Barnyard Balls for her - a pig, a chicken, a dog (my FAVE), a cat, and a sheep. Each animal makes a different noise - Derrick had to help me find things to put inside to jingle, rattle, rock, and scrunch.

On top of all that, this is her first "real" Easter - last year she was only 6 months old, and while she did get all big-eyed when she her basket and toys (she reached first for a book), the excitement lasted about 10 seconds. This year, though, she is old enough to get the fun of it all - to hunt eggs, although she already had to miss her school's Easter Egg Hunt, and new toys, and candy... and, the part I was absolutely most excited about... dying eggs! I guess it's because I am an artsy-fartsy type of person... hopefully more artsy and less fartsy... but I was really looking forward to destroying my kitchen, making the house smell of vinegar, and ruining two sets of clothes so I could dye my daughter's first Easter eggs.

And last night as I lay in a strange hotel bed, fully exhausted from lack of sleep and the stress of making major decisions for someone so small, I thought of all that.

As I dressed this morning, I remembered it was Easter and, even though I wanted to feel grateful for what Easter represents, mostly I just felt sad because my baby girl was going to sortof miss it this year. I guess my preoccupation with all this is why I didn't think much about it when Mr. Steve said someone had told him Katelyn had a delivery coming to her room. I walked in to find a pink Easter basket all wrapped up just for her! It was filled with all sorts of goodies - a puzzle, a new stuffed Cow (who was promptly named "Cow"), some necklaces, a bend-y bunny, crayons and a Care Bears coloring book, which I kindof want to color in myself!

Then we were invited by the hospital to an Easter program for the kids. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't what we got. I was immediately struck by the atmosphere in the room - sick kids were everywhere, but they didn't seem sick. They were just happy-having-fun little kids who happened to be wearing hospital gowns or oxygen masks. My ears adjusted to the kid's Easter music playing over the excited chatter ("...you'll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade") as we tried to decide where to begin. As we looked around the room (and the kids!), our eyes ran from table to table to table... 5 or 6 different stations set up with various Easter activities - at one station she could ice and decorate an Easter cookie shaped like a bunny rabbit; at another were Easter color sheets and crayons; at another she could make a bunny's face out of pipe cleaners and yarn... and then I saw it at the very back of the room... a table set up to dye real Easter eggs!

Now my precious baby has not just one Easter basket, but THREE, plus a bag of goodies from her Granny. (One basket from the hospital, one from the Easter program, and one from her Aunt T and cousins Chy and Presley) And even though I never expected to have the chance, I got to dye Easter eggs with my daughter for her first real Easter. These are memories I will always cherish and, this Easter, I am truly amazed at how faithful God is to my heart.

More pics are in the Facebook album, Katelyn's "Hip" Trip

Katelyn's Story

2011-04-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

Click the pic of my baby girl to be taken to the story of what's going on with Katelyn right now. Thank you all for your many prayers and sweet thoughts - it's really been overwhelming! We love you!

To the Love of My Life

2011-04-05T06:10:00.000-07:00

Happy 8th anniversary to the love of my life! I can't believe it's gone so fast! You and I have shared some of the most beautiful and the most devastating moments together and through them all you have been a safe place for me to fall, a shoulder to cry on, and a best friend to laugh with. I do not deserve you but I thank God everyday for you.

I know this anniversary is bitter sweet. Even as we grieve together, you have been a source of strength and comfort. In those moments when I see you beside me, I think of your song, "It's been harder than we dreamed but I believe that's what the promise is for, so let's go dancing in the mine field." And then I remember... you and I have always been able to dance in dark, haven't we?

I love you!

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

2011-02-27T15:56:00.000-08:00

I wanted to take pictures of Katelyn in her pretty Valentine's dress, which ended up being too big. Then, on top of it, she wasn't in the picture taking mood, so we got only a few decent pictures of her. Needless to say, I had to get pretty creative with the wording of her Valentine's card for family. All in all, I thought it was pretty cute! You can see the few other pics we got by clicking Read More!

SO in Love with HIM!

2011-02-11T10:49:00.000-08:00

My Heart Hurts for This Belief

2011-01-28T13:12:00.000-08:00

2011 Goals, Personal & Otherwise

2011-01-20T17:36:00.000-08:00

Since I believe firmly that my personal (aka "inner") life is directly related to my professional (aka "outer") life, the following goals blur the lines between work and home. But I know me, and if I don't find a way to articulate these things, I will inevitably forget what I have set out to this semester / year. So, in all their relentlessly honest glory, here are my goals for 2011:

Work out a minimum of 5 times a week
Read a successive chapter of Celebration of Discipline during the first week of each new month and work to incorporate that discipline into my life during the remainder of that month
Write a minimum of 1 blog on some aspect of Christianity / faith / religion each week, to be posted here and at sfaxa.org
Implement and stick to an envelope system of budgeting for our family
Discover and make steps towards becoming a person who consistently honors the people in my life
Discover and make steps towards becoming a grateful person

Well, there you have it. Obviously, if you read the wording carefully on the last two, you will see that I don't know exactly how to DO those. But I am excited in my life right now to be developing plans to move forward. No matter how small the step is, as long as you make it, you're making progress, right? That's my hope, anyway! That God will honor my feeble attempts to grow in His grace. I trust that He will make up what I lack if I just give Him what I have!

#3... and 4 & 5???

2010-11-21T17:44:00.000-08:00

After having so much fun quilting again (Baby J's Gig 'Em Quilt)... and after Katelyn carried Baby J's quilt around all day while I was trying to quilt it (she REALLY liked that quilt, hee hee), I decided to make Katelyn a quilt she could actually keep for herself - my third quilt of the year! Look at these yummy fabrics - don't they just scream PRETTY LITTLE GIRL??? Most of these I had left over from previous projects, so I spent little to no money on her quilt. That said, this was the project of never-ending messes...

Katelyn kept stealing my squares and I would find them scattered on the floor in random spots around the house.
Then I almost ran out of fabric with no border or binding. When I trimmed it all up, I literally had about .5" of fabric left in both the border and binding fabrics!
Then I ran out of thread while piecing the top... which wasn't such a big deal because I thought it would be nice to have slightly different shades of thread for the piecing and quilting.
But then I ran out of thread in the middle of quilting, too - and thanks to Coats changing their spools I had no way of matching the threads.

So... she has 3 different colors of thread on her quilt, but unless you're looking closely, you'll never be able to tell!

Here is the top, finally pieced, and "basted" to the quilt back and batting. Katelyn thoroughly enjoyed toting this around as it was - guess I could've skipped all the quilting!

And, boy, did I quilt! This is probably the most heavily-quilted quilt I've done thus far (in my very extensive experience... a whole 4 completed quilt & one partially hand-quilted twin-size quilt). I gave background quilting a shot surrounding the raw-edge appliqued squares on top of the blocks (the two smaller squares on each block). I quilted what looked like continuous diagonal lines emanating from the center of the quilt. In reality, I had to start & stop the lines each time they hit a piece of applique. Not an easy feat. Luckily, thanks to this site, I learned a new technique for machine quilting that greatly cut down not only on the chaos of lose strings while the quilting was in-progress... but also on the finishing work that needed to be done after the fact!

I recently heard about a way of including a signature patch to the backside of the quilt - cut it into a triangle shape and set it into the corner of your quilt. The binding holds the two raw edges in place and then you sew the top edge in place when you hand-stitch the binding closed. I have wanted to try this technique and thought this would be a good practice run, so I whipped up this little hand embroidered label one night while we watched movies.

And... presenting... the final product:

As you can see... Katelyn LOVES her new quilt! I brought it with me when I got her out of bed this morning - when she saw it, her face lit up and she smiled a huge smile! Just the reaction I was hoping for!

And now... a hint #4 & #5 quilts of 2010!

Quilting: an Apologetic

2010-11-21T06:58:00.001-08:00

I have been quilting again. In the last two weeks I have made two toddler quilts, one for a dear friend who is expecting her first child (a boy) in January and one for my DD (pics and progress to come soon). I have also spent a good deal of time researching and learning online. I have come across several blogs of quilters who have been amazed and inspired me!

All of this has me thinking: I LOVE quilting! For a lot of reasons, really. But largely I love the taking of something utilitarian (a blanket, to keep us warm, to cuddle and snuggle with, to provide comfort to my little girl) and making it beautiful. I love that I am leaving a piece of myself in this world for as long as thread and fabric hold together... and not just anything, but something meaningful and beautiful. Hopefully, at least. Haha.

To take the ordinary and make it beautiful.

What is this search for beauty? Why do I have this desire in me to make the things (and people) around me beautiful?

At one time I was much impressed by Arnold's line 'Nor does the being hungry prove that we have bread.' But surely tho' [while] it doesn't prove that one particular man will get food, it does prove that there is such a thing as food! i.e. if we were a species that didn't normally eat, weren't designed to eat, would we feel hungry? You say the materialist universe is 'ugly.' I wonder how you discovered that! If you are really a product of a materialistic universe, how is it you don't feel at home there? Do fish complain of the sea for being wet? Or if they did, would that fact itself not strongly suggest that they had not always, or would not always, be purely aquatic creatures? Notice how we are perpetually surprised at Time. ('How time flies! Fancy John being grown-up and married! I can hardly believe it!') In heaven's name, why? Unless, indeed, there is something about us that is not temporal.

--C.S. Lewis

If I am looking for beauty, I am NOT guaranteed to find it. Maybe my next quilt will be hideous, haha! But there MUST be something Beautiful to be found!

But it goes further than that. If I am always looking for Beauty, then I must be meant to be part of the Beauty!

Ah, but we want so much more—something the books on aesthetics take little notice of. But the poets and the mythologies know all about it. We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words—to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.

--C.S. Lewis

Resources for further study:
http://www.leithart.com/archives/001706.php
http://www.peterkreeft.com/topics/desire.htm

100th & 2nd

2010-11-19T16:32:00.000-08:00

It's time to celebrate - I have hit my 100th post on this blog! Yay!

Baby J's Gig 'Em Quilt

Our dear friends, J & T, are expecting their first child in January. I almost had a heart attack when, after 3 consecutive weeks of missing church for one reason or another, I found out her shower was in one week!

I had so many plans for lovely things I wanted to make for Baby J... but the one non-negotiable was a quilt with these gorgeous fabrics I had been stashing away! It would be my second completed quilt this year! His nursery is being decorated with A&M theme so I wanted to stick with that color palette - I tried to have "pretty" fabrics without getting too girly for a little boy's quilt.

I chose a ragged edge square quilt, which I had seen on this blog. I loved how soft and touchable it was and thought that would be perfect for a baby. Once I had the top pieced, I laid it on the floor to snap a pic, but before I could get my camera, Katelyn had found it and "claimed" it as her own! Guess she approved of the colors and fabrics!

This is the only pic I have of the quilt in its almost-finished state. I forgot to take one of the fully quilted blanket before I wrapped it - our friends live close by, though, so I'm going to get a pic in the next few days/weeks. :)

All in all, I LOVED the finished product and, hopefully, they did too!

I Dropped Him!

2010-11-18T05:30:00.000-08:00

Meet Snuggle Monster. I found the pattern for this little guy here a few months ago and have made several, mostly as gifts for friends who are expecting. I think he is too cute!

I made this little guy last - but I dropped him at the Nac Public Library last week. Oh, no!

Wait, that's what I was trying to do! Snuggle Monster is my first drop as a member of the Toy Society. We are a community of toy makers (that's right, as in, by hand) who make toys and "drop" them all over the world to be found by... whoever... maybe you!

Check out my log on the Toy Society website - I'm hoping that the finder's will post a found log as well; but either way, I had so much fun making something for a child I don't even know - imagining the excitement on his/her face when they realize they can take Snuggle Monster home! What a genius idea! Give something for nothing - except it's not really for nothing... I've gotten alot out of this project! More pictures below!

My Black Apple Doll - I Think We Will Call Her...

2010-10-30T19:06:00.000-07:00

...Minnie! I made her to look like a mini-Katelyn, so I think we will call her Minnie until Katelyn's old enough to make up her own name. This was my first attempt at making such an intricate toy and I am relatively pleased with the outcome. The hardest part: Turning those oh-so-skinny arms and legs!

And... I would like to add to my Christmas wishlist, the following books on soft-toy-making:

Our Little Pumpkin

2010-10-28T19:18:00.000-07:00

Last year we were propping her up in her Boppy to take Halloween pictures of Katelyn in her little pumpkin and kitty cat costumes. Our favorite was a sleeper with jack-o-lanterns all over that said, "Our Little Pumpkin" across the top. Well, our little pumpkin is not so little anymore. Today we took her to see her first pumpkin patch - she had a great time and we got some cute pictures!

A Party Fit for a Princess

2010-10-28T19:06:00.000-07:00

I am long overdue for posting pics and details on Katelyn's first bday party, but better late than never! I was super pre-prepared for her party, so that makes up for my tardiness in blogging about it, right???

I didn't have an official theme - my awesome sister bought Katelyn a really cute birthday outfit that we loved, so I planned the party to match her outfit. Lot's of pinks, yellows, and greens. For snacks, I served fruit skewers of watermelon, pineapple, and strawberry bits; marshmallows dipped in chocolate; frosted animal crackers (because they are pink); and my special treat was popcorn with 4 different flavored toppings: pizza, cajun, cinnamon sugar (the most popular, by far), and plain salt.

For decorations, I mostly made things by hand or used items from around our house or that were important in Katelyn's first year. Many thanks to the following folks for posting great tutorials FREE online for me to find and use:

Katelyn's Birthday Crown (which she wore for a total of 3 seconds): Juicy Bits
Giant Pom Poms: Katydid & Kid
Pinwheels: Leslie Tryon
Happy Birthday Banner: Katydid & Kid

If I have forgotten any, I am very sorry! I started working on the decorations about a month before the party so I would have enough time to get everything finished. It was alot of fun, especially without the stress of doing it all last minute. Things I pulled from around the house where: the lamp from her bedroom, the quilt I made for her that hangs in her room, I used one of her canvas bins to give the cake a little extra height (not that it needed it!), various serving pieces, a beautiful, giant pink diamond from her Granny, and some crystal baby trinkets that were used at one of my showers.

All in all, it was a very special, relaxing day with family and friends - Katelyn had a great time and so did we! And now... a few pictures:

First Steps!

2010-10-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

I am testing a new format for loading photos in my blogs... and I thought I'd test it out with a pics of Katelyn's first steps about a month ago! There she goes...

I Want to Do This!!!

2010-10-23T18:27:00.001-07:00

Who's with me???

The Toy Society

To My Daughter: 2.5 Hours that Changed My Life

2010-10-23T06:09:00.000-07:00

The Story of Your Birthday:

Caution: Graphic details included - read at your own risk. :)

There I was asleep on my couch, enjoying a much needed afternoon nap on my birthday when everything changed. It was my 29th birthday; not really a big deal, except it was my last without children. But I hadn't been feeling well courtesy of a head and flailing arms in my right rib cage, so we skipped any festivities and I opted for a quiet day in front of the TV. As usual I fell asleep during the movie. I had just started to rouse towards the end of the movie (I can't remember which one it was) when I felt the strangest sensation. I was half a second from telling Derrick about it when I realized with a violent shock that my water was breaking!
Forgive the detail (this is mainly for my own memory), but in less than a second I was off the couch and completely drenched from the waist down with a steady stream still flowing. Derrick jerked up from his couch and stared at me somewhat blankly - battling desperately between confusion and frustration at the mess that would need to be cleaned up. The only words I could find for the first 30 seconds or so were, "Oh no... Oh no... Oh no..." Derrick echoed with, "What's going on? What's going on? What's going on?" Finally, I suggested (and by suggested I mean demanded) he grab some towels... a minute later he returned with three towels... two under my feet and one in my hands, feebly trying to dry my legs. When I realized they were rapidly being soaked through, I waddled my way to our guest bathroom.

It was in that bathroom that I first fully understood what was happening. I was only 37 week with a breech baby and my water had just broken. I didn't know what to do next, but I knew it had to happen fast. My "Oh no" now changed to, "This is not good..." I grabbed my phone and called Momma. "Momma, uh... my water just broke." "WHAT??!!?" I tried to sound calm as I told her what was happening, but I know I sounded hysterical. She told me she was packing her bag and would be on her way within minutes. As I unsuccessfully tried to dry/clean up and control the loss of water (haha!), I yelled for Derrick to call the hospital for directions on our next step. Of course, he didn't exactly have the phone number memorized (note to self in the event of pregnancy #2!), so he yelled back asking for the number. I grabbed my iPhone, fumbling to Google the number to Woodland Heights Hospital, when I realized he had been using his laptop when the chaos ensued - it would be much faster and easier for him to look up the number. As he dialed, I changed into pair-of-pants-#2 and made a dash from the guest bathroom to our bathroom. Before I could get there, pants #2 were completely soaked. By this time Derrick was off the phone with our hosptial and had been instructed to get to the nearest emergency room to us - he threw me pair-of-pants-#3 and grabbed shoes for both of us and we were out the door with only a fleeting thought about being extremely grateful we had packed our bags early and stashed them in the car along with the carseat.

It was rainy that afternoon. He mashed the emergency flashers button as we whipped left out of the driveway onto North Street. The nearest hospital was only about 10 minutes down the road - Derrick made it in about 5 with only two near-wrecks. During the drive, Derrick's parents called and said they were headed our way. I remember the sound of Mr. Steve's voice - I'm pretty sure he was crying. I tried to sound calm and assure him everything would be fine, but in my head I wasn't so sure. My mom also called to say she was getting in the car. As we made our way passed the university, passed Scholtsky's, passed Burger King, passed Hobby Lobby... I kept one hand on the door for support and one hand around my belly, trying as best I could to hug my baby and let her know I was there and would do everything I could to make her OK. I prayed the most heartfelt prayer I knew at that moment, over and over again: "Oh God, I need You right now. My baby needs You right now. You are good... no matter what. But please, please let this baby be ok. Oh God, I need You..."

Derrick pulled into the drop-off zone of the emergency room and I jumped out, still leaking water but not having contractions. The signs on the doors were very confusing and although I was in the building, I was not in the ER. A nurse noticed the panic on my face and pointed me to the door for the ER. The lady behind the desk was very nice and did a good job keeping calm for my sake. There was a couple sitting in the waiting room and they overhead me explaining the situation to the receptionist, probably because by this point I was almost yelling, not because I was angry, but just having lost all control of the volume of my voice. As the nurse came to collect me in a wheelchair, the lady of the couple looked at me with a very reassuring smile and said they would be praying for me and the baby and that everything would be ok. I hoped she was right.

The nurse in charge of my wheelchair hit me with a flood of questions about my pregnancy, my healthy, the baby's development. By the time I reached the labor and delivery wing, it had been roughly 30 minutes since my water broke and all I wanted was to hear my child's heartbeat. The next two hours are somewhat of a blur, with a few moments of extreme clarity. Derrick was on a constant rotation of phone calls from family and friends. Mrs. Cindy Land (our Pastor's wife) and two of their sons happened to be near the hospital and stopped by to pray with us. All the usual things were done:

I was strapped into all the monitoring machines and I finally got to hear that most precious of sounds (her heartbeat), which showed that Katelyn and I were both fine, at least for the moment;
they wheeled in a dinosaur of an ultrasound machine and did a quick ultrasound to confirm the baby's position (still breech);
I repeatedly assured the ladies that my water had indeed broken (was I really sure it was my water breaking? YES! I lost gallons of fluid from my body!!!);
exams were done (finally confirming that, yes, my water had in fact broken).

I distinctly remember the nurse poking her head in the room and saying, oh so casually, "Oh, we are definitely gonna have a baby today!" She seemed so relaxed when I felt anything but relaxed. Derrick and I just looked at each other. She came back a few minutes later and told us they had decided not to send me to my hospital, but were going to do the C-Section there at Nacogdoches Medical Center with the doctor on call. It would take a few minutes to call the surgery team in since it was a Sunday, we were told; in the meantime, they would be prepping me for the procedure. An IV was started - new questions were asked - I had to drink the nastiest tasting liquid I've ever had in my life - and finally, they came to take me to the OR.

As scared as I had been up that point, it was only going to get worse. Because of some (in my opinion silly) hospital policy, Derrick could not join me in the OR until my spinal block was started, so I was taken to the OR without him. He was left in the room to finish up last minute phone calls and change into his blue birth get-up. As they wheeled me down the hall to the OR, my nurse warned me how cold the room was... she was not lying. I immediately started shaking as the 59 degree air hit my body (I was only in one of those thin, paper gowns). Praise God for the warm hospital blankets! It took a few minutes for the nurses and doctors to get their equipment situated before I was told it was time for the spinal block. Since the only other surgery I'd had was under general anesthesia, I didn't realize how tiny those surgery tables are. I'm pretty sure my body was hanging over the edges when I was lying down. When it was time for the spinal block, they had me sit up and hang my legs over the edge of the table. My nurse, Misty, took her place standing directly in front of me. She told me to lean toward her, curving my back, with my head on her shoulder. "Small pinch, little burning," said my anesthesiologist as he administered the lidocaine to numb the area on my back. He was right; it stung, but was not terribly painful. After a few seconds, he told me he was ready to do the block.

I lost track of how many times we replayed that little scene as he tried to get the block started, unsuccessfully, and had to pick a new insertion point. Everytime he would numb the area, which meant another "small pinch, little burning," and then would use the big-momma needle, which didn't exactly hurt, but felt like lots of pressure in my spine. A few times he got a little crazy with the big-momma needle and I could feel it hit the bone; that was not such a pleasant experience. The longer it took, the more nervous and scared I got. I just wanted Derrick to be there with me, but he was locked out, waiting in the hallway. Misty noticed how nervous I was getting and started talking to me. Finally, after 20 minutes, my block was finally started and they had me lie down on the table. It was the strangest sensation. The block was in my spine, but the numbing started from my toes and spread up to my chest; first my toes were gone, then my ankles, then my calves, then my knees, all the way to my hips where it seemed to stall. No problem, though; the anesthesiologist just tilted the operating table so my head was a little lower than my feet and, sure enough, that pushed the numbness right on up to the my chest in no time.

Finally they let Derrick into the room - everything felt better once he was with me. The doctor and all the assisting nurses came in, too, and there was alot of commotion as they prepared to start the surgery. They checked again to make sure I was numb and then Dr. McMorries simply said, "OK, let's have a baby." Derrick and I chatted about phone calls I had missed while the team worked. Derrick wasn't supposed to peek over the blue curtain at my neck, but he did. Within just a few minutes we heard Dr. McMorries say he could see your feet - you were definitely breech! He told us as he twisted your legs around and then said you were mooning him, but that you were definitely a girl. And finally, he had you all the way out, the umbilical cord was cut, and you were passed off to your nurse - you were born at 6:20pm. As nerve-racking as that afternoon had been, nothing compared to the 10 seconds between when we knew you were born and your first cry. We were nervous about how early you were - would your lungs work? would be able to breathe on your own? After what seemed like an eternity, we heard the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my life - your first breath, your first cry broke through the hollowness of that OR and literally took our breath away. Immediately we were crying as they suctioned your throat and nose, wiped you off, wrapped you in a blanket and handed you to your Daddy. I've never seen him smile bigger. It was the most proud moment of our lives. I wanted so badly to hold you right then, but because of the anesthesia, I couldn't really use my arms. So Daddy laid you across my chest and I kissed your chubby little cheek and told you how much I loved you.

The nurses had to take you back to finish cleaning you up. The team was still working to finish my surgery. Dr. McMorries joked - "Now that we've got the baby, let's put you back together." I didn't care what he did at that point, I couldn't take my eyes off you. I stared as the nurses worked with you, so tiny and so red. After a few minutes, they were ready to take you to the nursery. Daddy left to go with you while Dr. McMorries finished taking care of me. I would have to spend an hour in the recovery room before I could see you or Daddy again. Once the surgery was all done, they had to move me from the operating table to a portable bed - this proved difficult considering I was still totally numb. They had me cross my arms over my chest as they slowly rolled me onto my side and slide a board behind my back. This was the scariest moment because I was hanging literally on the edge of the table, about 4 feet off the ground (those tables are high) with only a 5'1" nurse keeping me from falling. Once the board was in place, they rolled me back and could then lift me onto the new bed. I felt much more relaxed as we headed to recovery, knowing you were safe and finally with us. I started thinking of all the things I'd left undone when we rushed to the hospital and, without really thinking about it, I said outloud but to no one in particular, "Oh no, I forgot to harvest my raspberries!" (Daddy and I had been playing a computer game right before you were born about farming. I had planted raspberries that afternoon and they needed to be harvested within 4 hours or they'd go bad and I wouldn't get any points for them.) To my surprise, my nurse played the game, too, and understood exactly what I was talking about! Once in recovery, I was so excited but had no one to talk to, so I kept talking to the nurse, telling her about you and Daddy, and asking ridiculous, random questions. I'm sure she was glad when it was time to send me to my room!

As my nurse pushed my bed down the hall, we found Daddy and Granny outside the nursery, standing in front of the big glass windows, watching you have your first bath. Daddy said Mrs. Cindy had been back up to the hospital to see you and had taken some pictures. Granny had gotten there just after you were born and had been watching with Daddy at the nursery. I got to stay and watch for a few minutes before it was time to go to my room.

Because my legs were still numb from the surgery, it took several nurses to get me moved to my bed. They had the process down, but I still wasn't excited about being carried around like that. There was no board this time, just a few tiny nurses moving me, one body part at a time. I was excited to see Mrs. Linda Marshall was going to be my nurse for the night. She was so sweet and helpful! Daddy and Granny had come to the room with me and left you with the nursery to finish your bath. It took probably another hour for them to finish up everything they do with newborns, and then they finally brought you to see me in the room. Daddy and Granny were there, but Mimi & Poppy hadn't made it just yet. The rolled you into the room in your little cart and brought you right over to me. I finally got to hold you - you were so tiny, and so beautiful, sound asleep after your very exciting day. Everyone took turns holding you - Mimi & Poppy, too, when they got there a little while later. Eventually it was time for you to eat and so the grandparents headed to bed for the night and Daddy and I got to have some time with you.

As we laid down to sleep (haha) that night, Daddy on the tiny, pull-out bed with squeeky springs, me in my hospital bed, and you in your cart between us, I prayed again: "Oh God, I need You right now. My baby needs You right now. You are good... no matter what. But please, please let this baby be ok." That prayer has been prayed more times than I can count this last year - it's changed a little. You're no longer my baby; now you're my little girl. But the heart of it is the same. I want to be the best mother to you I can be!

I DO Love Soy Sauce, But...

2010-10-22T18:23:00.000-07:00

I think this is a bit much even for me! But since this is my first real Halloween with a kid, I'm obsessed with costumes - I've picked up 3 in the store in the last week... and we've already got a costume for Katelyn!!!

Still, these are so cute and creative, I had to share. Enjoy!

The Last 2.5 Months...

2010-10-14T13:54:00.000-07:00

Wow! I've been on quite a blogging break! Let's see... in the last 2.5 months...

1. We bought a new house! Praise the Lord! We have been wanting to buy a house for the last 4 years and it was never possible. But we are now the proud owners (or will be in 29 years and 9 months) of this little house. It's actually not so little - she measures right at 2000 square feet and has a nice sized, fenced back yard for the baby to play in. We spent a week cleaning the inside and out before finally moving all our stuff. We have been living here the last two months and are loving every minute in our new home!

2. Our little girl turned ONE! I cannot believe that it has already been a year since Katelyn was born. And almost two years since I found out I was pregnant. Insane how fast time flies! Because we are fortunate enough to have lots of family, friends, and students who love us and our little girl, Katelyn got to have two parties - one with family and one with Chi Alpha. She really enjoyed both, but I think her favorite part was the cake! It took her about 5 minutes to figure out how to eat it, but once she did, she tunneled out a huge hole in her smash cake! It's on video somewhere and when I find it, I will post the video so everyone can see how cute she was! Luckily, it doesn't seem that sugar affects her too much because she slept great that night.

3. I finally went to see an orthopedist about my left knee. It's gotten progressively worse over the last 3 years to the point that I cannot make a trip to the grocery store without ending in pain. Now that I've done the doctor's visit, I am kicking myself for not going sooner! He is fairly confident we can fix it without surgery, which was a huge relief to me. I have "Patella Alta," which means that my kneecap sits about an inch or so higher than normal and it slips out of place with every step I take. It's done this my whole life, but something somewhere along the way has made it start hurting. I am on a dose of anti-inflammatories, wearing a flexible knee brace when I'm active, and starting a new exercise routine to help strengthen my legs. He wanted me to start biking, so I convinced Derrick to buy a recumbent bike for the house!!! He set it up today and I get to start working with it soon.

I haven't done much sewing or crafting, other than for Katelyn's party, for which I went all out! Again, pics to follow at some point. We left all my craft supplies at the old house for a month or so while we got everything else settled and finally moved it all about two weeks ago. I'm glad to have it back and have finally gotten caught up on back orders for Soft Straps. I have missed my sewing machine!

Well, that's about it for now - better get up and ready to do my "bike ride" for today. Peace out!

From Watermelon to Christmas

2010-07-09T18:11:00.000-07:00

I have been super busy the last few days with getting ready for an upcoming trip and crazy details with the house we are under contract to buy. Needless to say, it's been insane and now, so am I! Most of these pages were done before said insanity set in and I'm just now getting around to posting them. I'm happier with some than others. Click "Read More" to see all the pages, the good, the bad, and the at least not-so-cute!

3 Pages

2010-07-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

I've stolen a few moments admid the craziness of this house purchase to work on three new pages for Katelyn's 1st Year Scrapbook. Add to the completed list:

Katelyn's Hospital Stay @ 2 Months
First Swing
Miss Blue Eyes

For 2 more pages and FREE digital scrapbooking resources, click "Read More."

Several of you have asked about how I am making these digital scrapbook pages. Pretty simple process: 1) scour the website for free page elements (papers, word art, little random pretties); 2) pick out the pics; 3) assemble pages using Adobe Photoshop; 4) Save, and you're done! I've seen comments about people using other programs, but I love Photoshop and have it on my laptop, so that's my program of choice. I don't think I would try this in Word or any of those type programs. You really need a photo editing software to handle the large files.

And here are a handful of the very lovely sites I've found which offer FREE digital scrapbooking resources - ENJOY!

Word Art World
Digital Daisy's Hand Picked Freebies
Free2Scrap
Member's Freebies ...Sharing the Love - Scrapbooks gone Digital Community
Lori's Freebie List

Katelyn's 1st Year Scrapbook (WIP)

2010-06-30T18:00:00.000-07:00

I started this project a few months back (aka, Christmas) and finished one page and part of another. I had a little time to kill today so I worked on a few more. It is my goal to have a book of her entire first year!

WHAT EVENTS/MILESTONES/MOMENTS DO YOU THINK I SHOULD SCRAPBOOK?

Click "Read More" for more pictures and a list of the pages still to come!

You can see the pages I have done so far... and I know I have several key milestones yet to go:

First Teeth (not tooth)
First Swim
First Crawl
First... all the major holidays
First Birthday
~~Her hospital stay when she was 2 months old~~
Her blue eyes
First trip to the park

And I'm sure there are lots more!

Pot O' Pretty Flowers - Quiet Book

2010-06-23T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have been looking at other bloggers' posts about making Quiet Books for their children and have been really inspired to work on one for Katelyn. She is so loud in church now! I started the first page about 2 weeks ago and have worked on it a little here and there. I finally got it finished this week! Check out all the pics under "Read More."

The page details are all done in felt - all the embroidery was done by hand. Each flower was designed to be unique with different shapes, colors, and decorations. My niece helped me with the daisy at the top! You can see details of the flowers below.

The flowers are attached to the page by a button so she can pull them on and off, rearrange them as she wants.

The page "base," if you will, is unbleached domestic and the yellow panel is just an inexpensive piece of cotton material - it was machine-appliqued to the unbleached domestic piece.

I have patterns drawn up for 7 or 8 pages total and am excited to get started on the others, too!

#1 Dad!

2010-06-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

Happy FIRST Father's Day, Daddy!
Father's Day was lots of fun last year when I was pregnant - even better now that she's finally here! Check out the card Katelyn and I made for Derrick. She really did help - picked out the paper and "signed" her name! More pictures under "Read More."

Yes, Please - I'll Take Two!

2010-06-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Saw these today and they provided some much-needed inspiration for organization! Thought I'd pass it along to everyone!

Click an image to see the original post!

FOR SALE - Soft Straps!

2010-06-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

Soft Straps

Car Seat Strap

Cover & Toy Keeper

Handmade by yours truly!

On Sale Now: $10 / set

Email me if you'd like to order!

See my previous post for the story behind these little guys! And many thanks to my lifelong (literally) friend, Jamie, for pushing me to making them available to everyone!

Available styles:

Custom Product Labels Tutorial

2010-06-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

I am officially in the "make it to sell it" business and I found myself in need of some custom product labels. My degree is in Graphic Design so I decided to make some on my own rather than purchase them. Got something I liked on my second try! Pretty simple method, but in case you would like to know:

TUTORIAL:

Decide on dimensions - I chose tall and skinny to echo the shape of the Soft Straps I'm selling
Decide on colors - I like classic things, so I chose grayscale
Decide on info - I knew I wanted the name of the Product (Soft Straps), my name/logo, web address, and washing instructions
Design it - I used Adobe Illustrator because it's what I'm most comfortable with, but you could easily use Photoshop or even Microsoft Word if you're careful
Pick a Paper - I had a pinstripe linen paper on hand so I went with that (it's not quite cardstock weight, but heavier than regular copy paper)
Print - I printed them on my home printer (HP Photosmart C3180 All-in-One) on the highest quality setting
Cut - I hand cut mine, but I have a steady hand and an accurate eye; you could also use a paper trimmer or ruler and rotary cutter
Trim - I used my rounded-corner-cutter to finish the edges
Hole - I used a very small (1/8") hole punch to punch a hole for the ribbon
Assemble - I wrapped a ribbon around the Soft Strap sets and tied the label to it with a pretty bow

A little bit labor intensive, but I think they look so nice with the ribbon and label... it's worth it!

Old Notes from My Phone

2010-06-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

The best wine comes from grapes that have to fight to grow - Biodome experiment: the trees would shatter because there was no wind, no resistance

Books recommended by Anita Koeshall:

Written on the way to a student's funeral:

Eyes heavy with sadness and sleeplessness

Thinking back over the last three years

And my time with you

You were there

Blue lights flashing

Tried to reason, tried to explain

Didn’t matter in the end

012908: "Faith belongs in the arena."

071507: Thoughts from River Road

Take my yoke upon you... It’s easy and light

All my actions as responses to god

Trust him to take care of situations and people. How can I trust him if I don’t? How do I learn to trust him? Look at nature...

Stop trying to do everything and be like everyone else... Do what you are

My opinion doesn’t count... What does God think?

Car Seat Toy Keeper

2010-06-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

Since Katelyn moved up in the world to the "big girl" car seat, I have been trying to come up with a way to keep a couple of her toys connected to her. That was a major convenience of the carrier seat handle and I had gotten used to not having to give her toys constantly during our many road trips. I need a solution quick!

While looking around the internet yesterday, I stumbled across this post - and was stuck by an idea! I could make strap covers with loops for toys on either end that would allow me to clip one or two small toys to her! An hour later and here they are:

Crawl Buddy

2010-06-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

When Katelyn started crawling yesterday I immediately started thinking of toys that would help her develop her new-found skill. So I started sewing...
a simple idea, but so far it's working like a charm. The "Crawl Buddy!" She has been chasing this thing all around the house today... very slowly, but nonetheless, it's accomplishing its goal: to encourage her to crawl more. A really simple concept, it's 8 strips of coordinating fabrics sewn together to form an open-ended cylinder. With my husband's help, I calculated the dimensions for the two end caps and sewed them in place including a handle on one end (for easy toting up and down the stairs) and taggies on the other, leaving room for turning. I stuffed it to a pretty until it was pretty firm and hid a noise-maker in the middle (a small plastic box with buttons inside to make noise). Tada!

"The Call" by Os Guinness

2010-06-13T18:57:00.000-07:00

In the opening chapter (all I've read thus far) of The Call, Os Guinness says, "...transition challenges our sense of personal meaning." I understand this statement full well at this time of my life. Following closely on the heels of a major life shift, I had a major health crisis and ended up in surgery and an 8 week recovery process... followed immediately by a 3-month treatment for said health issues... followed immediately by 9 months of trying to conceive... followed (seriously, thank God) by 9 months of pregnancy. Well, really only about 8 months because the baby was 3 weeks early. Not exactly what we planned for, but luckily she was perfectly healthy... for the next 8 weeks at least. That's when she got RSV, a long and drawn out 4 week battle that included 5 trips to the ER and a 3-night stay in the Pediatric Wing of the hospital. My life has been one giant transition the last 3 years or so, and now that my beautiful daughter is here with us, growing and (finally) healthy (again, thank God)... I feel like the transition has just begun.

It seems like every new week Katelyn hits a new milestone and my life shifts all over again. She is currently working on crawling and I know when she finally gets it down, my days of sitting to work while she plays quietly on the floor are long gone. And then she'll be pulling up on everything. And as Katelyn learns all her new tricks, I have been wondering how my new role as full-time Mom plays into what I've believed to be my calling for the last 10ish years. Turns out Os is right... transition does challenge our sense of personal meaning.

Who am I now that I'm a mom?
What am I called to be/do and how does that affect being a mom? Or does it work the other way around? Does my being a mom affect everything else? (Basically, what's at the basis of who I am?)

A few quotes from Chapter 1 that stuck out to me:

"...modern Western civilization is the very first to have no agreed-on answer to the question of the purpose of life."

"The trouble is that, as modern people, we have too much to live with and too little to live for."

"...in the midst of material plenty, we have spiritual poverty."

"...calling is the truth that God calls us to himself so decisively that everything we are, everything we do, and everything we have is invested with a special devotion and dynamism lived out as a response to his summons and service."

For Kristen & Nathan

2010-06-11T19:09:00.000-07:00

We were recently asked, separately by two different friends for good books to read. So, just for Kristen and Nathan, here is our list of "must-read" Christian books:

Orthodoxy, G.K. Chesterton
Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
The Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence
The Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster
Life Together, Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Cost of Discipleship, Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Can Man Live Without God?, Ravi Zacharias
The Unshakable Kingdom & The
Unchanging Person, E. Stanley Jones
Humility, Andrew Murray
True Spirituality, Francis Schaeffer
The Mark of a Christian, Francis Schaeffer
The Great Physician, G. Campbell Morgan

The Parables & Metaphors of Our Lord, G. Campbell Morgan
The Practice of Prayer, G. Campbell Morgan
Discipleship, G. Campbell Morgan
Spiritual Authority, Watchman Nee
Spiritual Knowledge, Watchman Nee
Let Us Pray, Watchman Nee
A Tale of Three Kings, Gene Edwards
The Prisoner in the Third Cell, Gene Edwards
Confessions of St. Augustine
No Little People, Francis Schaeffer
The Nature and Character of God, Winkie Pratney
The Knowledge of the Holy, A.W. Tozer (The Attributes of God is better, if you can find it)

The Attributes of God, A.W. Pink
The God They Never Knew, George Otis, Jr.
The Weight of Glory, C.S. Lewis (Essay)
Creed or Chaos?, Dorothy Sayers
The Pursuit of God, A.W. Tozer
Basic Christianity, John Stott
Let the Nations Be Glad, John Piper
The Pleasures of God, John Piper
The Heavenly Octave, F.W. Boreham
The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis
Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis
Surprised by Joy, C.S. Lewis
Miracles, C.S. Lewis
A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis
E.M. Bounds on Prayer
William Barclay Commentary on the New Testament (Daily Study Bible Series)
Flowers from a Puritan's Garden, Charles Spurgeon
The Greatest Thing in the World, Henry Drummond
A Shepherd Looks at the 23rd Psalm, Phillip Keller
The Life of God in the Soul of Man, Henry Scougal
Chapter 2, The Holiness of God, R.C. Sproul
The Master Plan of Evangelism, Robert Coleman
The Pilgrim's Progress, John Bunyan
Mr. Jones, Meet the Master, Catherine/Peter Marshall

If we come up with more (and we probably will), we will certainly add to the list. ENJOY!

Edited:
Ten Shekels and a Shirt, Paris Reidhead

I Can Make This

2010-06-03T17:47:00.000-07:00

Saw this really cute pull-toy at WalMart today with Mimi and Poppy... and I thought, "I could definitely make that!" Checked at Hobby Lobby and they totally have the wheels for like $3. As long as I can find a pattern for an animal head... it's on! Thank you, Garanimals, for a bit of inspiration!

Soothie Paci Clips/Keepers

2010-06-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

My sis-in-law has a little boy 4 months younger than Katelyn and he uses Soothie paci's. If you've ever used them, you know there are no paci clips/keepers sold in the stores, unless you really want your child's face to look like a giant sunflower! So I decided to make her a couple as a surprise. :) Hope they work for her!

Ivy Shoes

2010-06-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

Katelyn's in an in-between size of shoes and, since new shoes are so expensive, I decided to make her another pair of shoes. I went with white so they will match everything but then they looked too plain. So I decided to try my hand at some embroidery. Hopefully they will stay clean enough to last her a while!

My Child Will Have This!

2010-06-01T07:47:00.001-07:00

I get several emails about crafting/sewing/etc each week, and this was featured in one... Katelyn has to have this when she gets a little older! Can't you just see it???

'K' is for #QUILT!

2010-05-29T15:49:00.000-07:00

Well, now that she is almost 8 months old, Katelyn's nursery is finally complete! I set out to make my baby girl a quilt for hanging above her crib before she was even born; one thing or another came up and I inched along at a snail's pace on that project. But in the last week I have finally been able to set aside some time to start and finish it! It's my first totally machine-quilted quilt and I am quite pleased with how it turned out.
Here's pics with a few notes on the process:

These were the two quilts I used as inspiration - hopefully you can see the elements I took from each.

I drew up this guide in Adobe Illustrator before I started cutting and sewing. As you can see, my original plan was to do inset squares all the way around and to do a scalloped border. But, plans change!

I did manage to cut out enough pieces to do the inset squares, but after I appliqued the 'K' in the middle, I lost ANY and ALL desire to applique 20 small squares!!!

Since I had no real pattern I was following, I didn't do such a great job of calculating before cutting. Derrick's dad always tells him when woodworking, "Measure twice - cut once." I should've followed that advice a little better because I ended up having to cut back the brown inner border because I cut my squares .25" too small! Oh well, I think it looks fine this way, too - it would've had a slightly wider border otherwise.

I was really excited about how straight the quilt turned out! And, after three days of piecing it together, I decided to skip the scallop on the edges - it would've cut too much into the white border and I thought it would look unbalanced.

Katelyn is sleeping soundly beneath her momma's quilt!

Walk Away the Pounds? Yes, I Think I Will!

2010-05-28T13:03:00.000-07:00

I have been in need of a good 30-minute cardio routine for my new weight-loss adventure. It's tough to find something I can do, that I enjoy, and that won't kill my bad knee. My mom suggested Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds.
God bless whoever posted it on YouTube because I tried it today and really enjoyed it - I mean, as much as I can enjoy wheezing and sweating profusely for half an hour! I was surprised by how much it got my heart rate up with simple moves. Even totally uncoordinated me could keep up (admittedly, it wasn't pretty to watch when she added the arms on top of the legs, haha)! Thirty minutes of walking and, by the time you're done, you've walked 2 miles without leaving your living room! Woo hoo - looks like I've a standard for cardio!

Bandana Dress for my Baby

2010-05-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

Derrick, Katelyn, and I are having family photos taken in like a week. You know what that means! The search is on for matching outfits - or at least coordinating! Living in a small town, our options are somewhat limited - I have searched Target and Walmart. I bought a dress for Katelyn at Target, but spent $13.00 on it and don't like it THAT much. I mean it's cute, but she'll wear it like twice at most.

Then I remembered a tutorial a ran across online for making a really cute (and supposedly simple) dress for little girls out of bandanas that cost $1 each.
I have stock piles of ribbon, so a dress for $2 was too good to pass up. I picked up two bandanas at Walmart yesterday and set about making my first piece of clothing ever.

The pattern was simple enough - but I didn't like that it was unlined, so I decided to add lining. Did I know how to line clothing??? Of course not! But why should that stop me? I made a bag once for my niece that was lined... it couldn't be much different from that, right? So I decided to line my dress.

At 11:15pm last night I decided to go to bed and finish it in the morning. I based the dress of the pattern found here and tweaked a few things to make the lining work. For instance, I shortened the pocked for the ribbon to make sure the arm holes were large enough, so my ribbon is crinkled inside the pocket. Who cares? You can't even tell! The whole neck line is crinkled! And I made the lining a few inches longer than the dress itself and did a bias binding type thing along the bottom edge to give it a little more definition and because I had to have some way of finishing it off. I love it - I think it's great and Katelyn looks darn cute in it! Next up: a matching bow with smaller matching ribbon! Yay!

Marinated Baked Pork Chops

2010-05-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

This recipe deserves an entire blog post dedicated to it - simple, delicious, and healthy! The perfect combination! Take two pork chops, mix up the quick and easy marinade from things you always have on hand, pour on top, bake for 1 hour (or until done) and you have some of the tastiest (tangy) pork chops I've ever eaten! Get the recipe here.

Portable High Chair?

2010-05-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

I have never heard of such a thing, but i immediately thought it could be quite useful! Derrick and I seem to always find ourselves in places that don't have high chairs during mealtimes and Katelyn just can't be trusted in a chair on her own. So, you know what that means: Daddy is holding baby (and getting covered in baby food) while Mommy feeds the kiddo. Tough luck for Daddy!

I stumbled across this idea for a fabric portable "high chair" yesterday and knew instantly I wanted to try it out. There wasn't really a pattern so I just sortof winged it, helped along by a few measurements from the original blogger. I didn't realize until after mine was cut and the first piece sewn that she had given finished dimensions so mine is about .5" smaller in all directions than hers but my baby's younger, so hopefully it won't matter.

We have a lunch meeting today and that will be our first try! My biggest concern is that I feel safe with her in it. I'm not looking to be able to walk off while she's in it, but I want to know that she can't turn over or slide out either. She's already very active and I want to make sure she is safe! Other than that, I'm curious how many types of chairs it will work on. Already I know it has to have some kind of slits/slots/etc or it won't work. You could theoretically make the waist strap long enough that it would wrap all the way around, but it would have to be pretty long!

One convenient thing about it is it's ability to fold up for convenient storage in the diaper bag. Folds down to about the size of a diaper!

Anyway, here are the pics!

Something I Never Thought I'd Blog About...

2010-05-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

I have had several conversations recently with friends who are pregnant or thinking about starting a family: To Breastfeed or Not to Breastfeed, that is their question. And it's a question I faced, too. I have been on every conceivable side of that fence in the last 15+ years. As a teenager, I thought, "NEVER! THAT'S SO WEIRD!" And yes, it is a little weird. As a young adult, I thought, "I guess it's OK for some people, but I don't want to do it." And when I saw a woman in England breastfeeding her son in church I was secretly mortified that she would do something like that in public. (Granted, there was no cover involved... she just hung herself out there for the world to see... in church... during the sermon. Greg Pampell, you remember that??? You were preaching!) And as a married woman, I thought, "I guess I can see the benefits of it, but it's SO weird... I don't think I could ever do that." Then I got pregnant.

After I knew I was having the baby, my thoughts all changed. Oh, I still thought it was weird and was still secretly somewhat mortified when women nursed in public without covers (when they were covered I found, to my surprise, it didn't bother me so much), and definitely still questioned whether it was for me. But I found myself thinking long and hard about the benefits for my baby - I couldn't escape the facts. And for the first time in my life I found myself not exactly wanting to breastfeed, but thinking I could at least give it a try. So I made up my mind: I would try to breastfeed for at least the first month. I read books, I searched forums, I messaged friends who had breastfed their kids, I talked with anyone I knew who wouldn't get awkward about it, and I signed up for a class to teach you how to do it! Even after all that preparation, I was still apprehensive. Then I had the baby.

I will never forget the feeling when they laid my daughter in my arms the first time. I had a somewhat emergency C-Section so she was a couple hours old before I could actually hold her (my husband was the first) - but my first Mommy-Katelyn snuggle left me with no doubts, no questions about it... I would breastfeed if at all possible. She was just so perfect, so beautiful, so amazing. I wanted to do the very best thing for her I could do, and I was lucky enough to be able to breastfeed.* So, for my own benefit, and for any who may be interested in the reasons I chose the path I chose... here are the...

THINGS I LOVE MOST ABOUT BREASTFEEDING:

You can do it ANYWHERE!
Easy Packing: When packing the bag to go out for the day (much less a week - it takes us three extra bags just for her food!), you just throw your cover in - and you're done!
Frees up more space in the top rack of your dishwasher - no need for bottle baskets and bottles!
Economy-Proof: The feeling that even if the economy tanks and we lose everything we own, I can still provide the best possible nutrition for my child!
The Given: The health benefits for my child. (Check out this article for details)
Snuggle Time: The bonding time I had with Katelyn was amazing!
Cheapskate: It's free!

There are so many good reasons, the list could go on and on but for the sake of time and space I'll stop here. So, how did it work out with my first child? I breastfed for the first four months, supplementing with formula when she needed it or when breastfeeding wasn't possible. She is now 7 months old, healthy and beautiful and the joy of our lives. Needless to say, if given the chance, I will breastfeed any and all future children. I love it! Yay for God when He thought up this brilliant system we have - I feel very grateful to have been able to be part of it all.

*NOTE: I understand that for some women, it's not possible either because of physical, mental, emotional, or lifestyle reasons - and I truly believe the important thing is to do the best POSSIBLE thing for your child... I'm not one of those hardcore "you've gotta breastfeed or you're a bad mom" people... trust me, I met enough of them - I don't want to be one. This is just my experience.

Sucker for Organization

2010-05-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

Found this group of CUTE and easy storage solution ideas in a weekly email I get - thought I'd share. I'm a sucker for organization - especially when it's cute and cheap!

Mini Storage Solutions for Scrapbooking Supplies

Gather your tiny embellishments and put them in stylish, functional mini storage containers that perfectly fit the style of your scrapbooking room.

The First Game!

2010-05-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

We finally finished the mock-up of Sand Castle Blast and played our first test game last night (Derrick v. Ashley)! Despite being difficult to play with only two people, it was very helpful and we realized several major things that we need to tweek for the game to really be playable, including printing our version of the "Longest Road" and "Largest Army" cards which we quickly realized we didn't have.

So...Who won?

Depends on who you ask... I thought we were NOT playing with the missing cards but Derrick thought we were. So he says he won with the invisible cards and I won without them!

Odds & Ends (aka Homemade Guacamole and Baby Shoes)

2010-05-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

My Baby Shoes Pattern:
I found a folder on my desktop with these pics in it, haha! Guess I forgot to upload them! This is the prototype for the shoe I'm making... it's currently about twice as big as it needs to be so I've got to downsize, if you will, to fit Katelyn's little foot. But I'm hopeful it will be cute once it's finished... when I can find the time to work on it again... I've been distracted by our board game!

Homemade Guac:
My first stab at homemade guacamole - not too bad, but the avocados weren't ripe enough. Instead of smooth, creamy guac, we got little, tiny pebbles of avocado so it's pretty crunchy! Oh well, maybe next time!

Sand Castle Blast - Our Game Board - Current State

2010-05-09T17:54:00.000-07:00

We have spent the last two years (off and on) working on a "skin" for one of our favorite board games. I wanted to start documenting the progress. Since it's already in the works, I will start with pics of the work we've done so far.
These are part of the playing cards we had designed for the game - this is maybe half the needed types of cards. Some of the basic designs are staying the same, but most of these have already been redesigned. Just waiting for a good day to tackle printing!

The game board itself is made up of 19 of these "hex tiles" with different images hand-painted (by me) on them representing the different resources (water, umbrellas, and sand shown here) you're trying to collect in the game. There are supposed to be 5 types of tiles/resources and that's what we messed up in this version... we only ended up with 3! Woops!

The exterior of the board is made up of 6 of these shapes, also hand-painted. The piers are part of the game, but the rest is just decoration. In the new version, we are changing from piers to wooden signs and we are just going to use another row of hex tiles all the way around instead of trying to work with these pieces - they are VERY inaccurate and make the board push into wonky shapes.

These are some of the game pieces - the yellow sandcastles also come in 3 other colors, one set for each possible player (4 max) and are worth different amounts of points. The number pieces have to do with board set-up and rolling the dice. The sandcastles were cut by Derrick's dad, the circles were bought pre-cut at Hobby Lobby and they were all hand-painted.

Our Own Board Game - Upcoming Project with the Hubby

2010-05-05T07:09:00.000-07:00

About two years ago, Derrick and I were looking for something to do together and at the time were playing alot of the game Settlers of Catan. We started talking about different "ways" of playing the game and decided it would be fun to make a Settlers-like board game of our own. Thus the birth of Sand Castle Blast, our very own board game built on the foundation of Settlers.
We got a little overly-zealous and jumped head-first into creating the actual board - our first attempt used MDF (as opposed to cardboard in the mass-produced versions) we bought at Home Depot which Derrick cut into hex-tiles on his table saw on our back porch. Let's just say, despite his best efforts (and a few close calls with the blades), the tiles didn't come out exactly uniform. But we pressed on... and I started painting the resource images on the tiles. This worked really well and I enjoyed the excuse to paint again. Simple acrylic on the MDF and we planned to seal them with a spray sealer also bought at Home Depot. As I was getting ready to finish up the resource tiles I realized something didn't seem quite right - there were SO many of each resource it didn't make sense with my experience of Settlers. That's when we realized we mis-counted the resources and didn't have enough to play the game correctly. Bummer! So I had to sand down about half my painted tiles to start over again. Derrick's dad helped us cut game pieces at his house a couple years ago and they've been painted for a while now - waiting on the board to be done to apply the sealer. Discouraged about the tiles, I decided to start working on the game cards and came up with designs for each type of card in the game. I have printed mock-ups of those as of last year sometime. But we got busy and I got pregnant and the game progress stopped totally.

But now we are excited to say we are going to re-start the Sand Castle Blast program and will hopefully finish it this time 'round!

Our plan of attack is as follows: as suggested by our good friend Aaron (a fellow board-game-enthusiast), we are going to print a paper mock-up of the game and play a few rounds with the pieces we have to test whether our rules work. That means we need to actually write out the rules of the game so that's our first step. Once we have the rules set and the design of the game board finalized, we will order laser-cut hex-tiles (not very expensive) that we can paint and seal as originally planned. These tiles will be uniform and will make game play MUCH easier! We need to finish up the design for the game cards and get everything sealed so we can play for years to come. The last step is to find some sort of container to store the game in when we're not playing.

I will try to take some pics of the progress we've made so far.

Bibs, Blocks, & Booties (Really, Shoes)

2010-05-05T06:50:00.000-07:00

I've been busy sewing again the last couple days - finally found some new shoe patterns to try out. And, surprise, I'm currently working on a pattern of my own since I couldn't find exactly what I wanted for free. But on to the recent fruits of my labor!
This is a fabric version of those so-ugly-they're-cute leather baby shoes that are in every store right now - several of my mom-friends swear by them. So far, Katleyn loves hers - despite the fact that one is definitely a little longer than the other, haha! Here's the free pattern I used.

Bibs & Blocks:
I finally finished up the fourth and final (for now at least) of Katelyn's blocks. This one is smaller than the rest and has a couple jingle bells inside to make noise. I would like to try out some alternatives to the bells in the future because once all the stuffing was added, they aren't very loud. Of course, I'm sure I will appreciate that in the years to come!

The bib i made on a whim yesterday - found this pretty pink fabric at HL when I stopped by Monday - it was on clearance so I bought a little. The ultimate goal is to have a matching pair of shoes but I'm waiting until I get my pattern worked out a little more to try the shoes. Here's the free pattern for the bib. Fair warning if you decide to try the bib: It's a BEAST to turn! If you look at the pattern, I obviously opted to leave the pocket off this one. I want to try out some of the iron-on vinyl I have heard about to make her some more "waterproof" bibs for mealtimes and will probably include a pocket on those!

Crayon Carrier:
And, last but not least, a couple of crayon rolls for my nephew, Presley, who is coming to visit us this weekend with my family. Not much to the pattern - took me all of 45 minutes to cut, prep, sew and stage these little guys. I made two simply because he LOVES "ightnin' queen" and Thomas both and I couldn't decide between the two fabrics! Hope he likes them, but shhhh... they're a surprise!

Blocks, Blocks, Blocks!

2010-05-03T12:38:00.000-07:00

I spent Sunday afternoon putting these fabric blocks together for Katelyn. My one regret is that I did not have anything to jingle inside. I bought some jingle bells and such at Hobby Lobby today to experiment with for the next ones!

Today's Results!

2010-05-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't get around to all three projects for today but I did have fun with two of them.

Kimono Shoes:
Ok, so after I had a total DUH moment on the first attempt, I got these sewn in about 15 minutes! Super quick! I would do it a little different if I attempt a second pair with this pattern, though:
first, I would make the soles out of either leather or suede in a matching color for both durability (Katelyn's always been a kicker!) and looks. And I skipped any embellishments this time because I wanted to focus on the basic shoe design first - but I really wanted to add buttons or bows or ribbon somewhere on the toe area!

Now the down side: when I went to put them on Katelyn they were extremely difficult to get on - I dont know if I've got them sewn wrong or if they're too small or if it's just the cut of the shoe (the wrap part extends pretty far down the side and makes the toe section a little narrow). We'll see what I can figure out about that. Otherwise, super cute, super quick!

And sadly, I realized I don't have any elastic on hand so I couldn't try the other pair of shoes. But I'm really anxious to give them a shot because I think they would be more likely to stay on Katelyn's feet, especially with how active she's becoming!

Geometric Soft Ball:
This project was the result of an email I read about giving babies Katelyn's age lots of textures and shapes to play with. She doesn't have many toys that are cloth (TONS of cool plastic toys, though) so I figured I'd make her a few things. This was first up on the list. I think she will really enjoy playing with it. Finished size is about 6" diameter and each section is just small enough for her little hand to grab. I used a faux-suede fabric on the inside (red) and a rougher fabric (blue flower) on the outside, so she should enjoy feeling the difference between the soft and scruffy textures of the two fabrics.

This project had a LOT more hand-sewing than I anticipated - just a heads up if you decide to tackle it. The last steps of assembly weren't nearly as difficult as I expect.

FUNNY SIDE NOTE: Katelyn and Sadie (family dog) now have matching toys. Sadie received this same style of ball as a Christmas present! Haha, hope we don't have problems with confusion!

Today's Projects, God Willing...

2010-05-01T12:01:00.001-07:00

Kimono Baby Shoes - Pattern here. | Baby Shoes - Pattern here. | Easy Grab Baby Ball - Pattern here.

I'll post my results when/if I get them done. :)

Babies & iPhones

2010-04-21T15:14:00.000-07:00

Katelyn has been fascinated by my iPhone for the last month or two and I'm really torn between letting her play with it and protecting it from her and her from it. Her motor skills are still developing and she has a tendency both to drop what she's holding (what 6 month old doesn't!?) and to THWAP herself in the face with it. So, considering it's an iPhone specifically, I've decided to try out a few apps for Katelyn... something that will entertain her while still allowing me control of the phone! Here's what I'm going for so far:

All the apps on the left (or top) are game format - some are for when she's a little older like Snakes which is basically Shoots & Ladders. And all the apps on the right (or bottom) are books - some of them read themselves to you (which is awesome!) and some you click along and read aloud. They are all free versions so some of the stories aren't so great, but hey, they're free and she's 6 months old... not a literature critic!

I'm also exploring again the world of Podcasts. Loads of them are free and they can be downloaded straight to my iPhone for Katelyn's amusement. Really - technology can be extremely useful sometimes!

Dobby's Wisdom

2010-03-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

I have been reading through the Harry Potter series over the last few months. I have never read them before - I just knew they were always a touchy subject among Christians. Once I decided where I stood, I decided to read them for myself. So far (I'm about halfway through Book #4 - so don't ruin any of the surprises!), I am really enjoying them. I read a few pages this morning and something really caught me about a passage concerning Dobby, the house-elf. VERY long story made short, house-elves are pretty much slaves, but they have been slaves for so long they actually think they enjoy it. They just can't imagine any other life than what they have. Dobby, however, sees the truth about his condition and wants very badly to be free. But under the house-elves laws, he is a slave for life... until Harry steps in and helps him be freed from his master. All of that is back-story to what I was reading this morning.

In the new passage, the story picks up with Dobby a couple years after he was freed and expands to include a new friend of his, a fellow house-elf (and one recently freed as well) named Winky. Winky and Dobby are about as different as can be, with the obvious exceptions. Winky hates her freedom and wants to go back to her master. Her feelings are reflected in her clothes even, which for a house-elf are a sign of freedom: she is wearing a nice skirt, shirt, and hat, but you can see she does not take care of them. They are stained and dirty. Dobby, however, loves being free, despite some complications it brings with it. And his feelings are also reflected in his clothes: even though his clothes are not so nice as Winky's, he has taken great care of them, and it is clear that he is quite proud of them.

Now, I was thinking about this... Dobby's clothes were sort of odd-looking... a teapot cover for a hat, mis-matched socks, etc. But he was proud of them. He enjoyed them. And although Winky had very nice clothes, she took them for granted. What was the difference?

I think it was this: Dobby felt his chains and Winky did not. Dobby saw the truth of his situation and wanted to be free. Winky never understood just how bound she really was and, therefore, never wanted to be free. She resented her clothes for what they represented to her. But Dobby loved his clothes because to him, they were a sign of his freedom.

Reminds me again that without a real, profound understanding of our sin, how can we really understand God's grace?

"If your sin be small, your God will be small. But if your sin be great, your God will be great."

--Charles Spurgeon, one of the greatest Baptist preachers of all time

Lord, help me to never forget the depravity you pulled me from... and help me to always experience the joy of my salvation, for while it was free to me, it cost you everything!

(Mostly Disney) Movie Wish List

2010-03-26T08:57:00.000-07:00

I have always loved Disney movies and now, as Katelyn is getting older and more interested in TV, I am thinking about all the movies I'd like to add to our little collection... movies that were magical for me as a child. And I hope they will be the same for my little girl!

Animated Movies:
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
Pinocchio
Dumbo - Bought in Clear Lake, TX @ the Taylor's Crawfish Boil, Half Price Books
Bambi
Cinderella
Alice in Wonderland

Peter Pan

Lady and the Tramp
Sleeping Beauty

101 Dalmatians - Thanks, Mrs. Mary Arndt!
Beauty and the Beast
Lion King
Finding Nemo
Robin Hood
Lilo & Stitch

Jungle Book

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh - Thanks, Mrs. Mary Arndt!

The Rescuers
The Fox and the Hound
The Great Mouse Detective
The Rescuers Down Under
The Little Mermaid - thanks Wendi!
Tinkerbell - thanks Wendi!
Pocahontas - thanks Wendi!
Aladdin

Piglet's Big Movie

Pooh's Grand Adventure

Pooh's Heffalump Movie

The Tigger Movie

Computer Animated Movies:
A Bug's Life

Bolt

Monster's Inc.

Meet the Robinsons

The Incredibles

Cars - bought on sale at Walmart!

Ratatouille - bought on sale at Walmart!

Toy Story

Toy Story 2
Toy Story 3 - bought on sale at Walmart!

Live Action Movies:

Bedknobs and Broomsticks

The Apple Dumplin' Gang

The Apple Dumplin' Gang Rides Again
The Barefoot Executive
That Darn Cat
The Ugly Dachshund
Mary Poppins
The Absent-Minded Professor
The Shaggy Dog
The Swiss Family Robinson

The Gnome Mobile

Hot Lead and Cold Feet

Darby O'Gill and the Little People

Non-Disney Movies:
An American Tale
Land Before Time (just the first one)

Veggie Tales - Original Silly Songs with Larry

Veggie Tales - The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

Veggie Tales - Jonah - Found on sale at Target, Lufkin, TX
Veggie Tales - The Wonderful World of Auto-tainment!
Veggie Tales - The Battle of Little Joe

Veggie Tales - Lyle the Kindly Viking

Veggie Tales - King George and the Ducky

Veggie Tales - Dave & the Giant Pickle
Veggie Tales - Where's God When I'm S-Scared?

Veggie Tales - Larry Boy &the Rumor Weed

Veggie Tales - Madame Blueberry - Bought in Clear Lake, TX @ the Taylor's Crawfish Boil, Half Price Books

Veggie Tales - Esther, the Girl Who Became Queen - Bought in Clear Lake, TX @ the Taylor's Crawfish Boil, Half Price Books

Veggie Tales - Sheerluck Holmes & the Golden Ruler - Bought in Clear Lake, TX @ the Taylor's Crawfish Boil, Half Price Books

Veggie Tales - The Ultimate Silly Song Countdown - Bought in Clear Lake, TX @ the Taylor's Crawfish Boil, Half Price Books
Hermie, A Common Caterpillar - Bought in Clear Lake, TX @ the Taylor's Crawfish Boil, Half Price Books
Baby Einstein, Baby Beethoven - Bought in Clear Lake, TX @ the Taylor's Crawfish Boil, Half Price Books
Baby Einstein, Baby da Vinci - Thanks, Mrs. Mary Arndt!
Baby Einstein, Neighborhood Animals - Thanks, Mrs. Mary Arndt!
Baby Einstein, MyFirst Signs - Thanks, Mrs. Mary Arndt!
Robots
Anastasia
Horton Hears a Who
Inspector Gadget's Biggest Caper Ever
The Secret of Nimh

My First Ami-Doll

2010-03-11T10:50:00.000-08:00

I have really been enjoying learning to crochet new things - since the new year I think I have made 5 or 6 crocheted hats for kids. And I've been looking at info online about making amigurumi for some time now, but haven't had any luck with the few small projects I've attempted. (I tried a small bird for Katelyn's room and a miniature elephant once awhile back.) I was, however, pleased with a couple of larger pieces I did: a weiner dog and a lion. (I'll try to get pictures of those up soon.)

So I decided to start a new large project...

It's the most complex one I've attempted to date: my first Ami-Doll! I am really excited to see how she turns out! In this picture, you can loosely see how she will be put together even though I've only got the head shape with eyes and one leg finished. :) When she is done, she will have a fully embroidered face, long hair, and a cute shirt and shorts! She's got the feel of a Japanese anime character with oversized feet and I just love her!

FYI: The pattern is loosely based off this doll.

Projects... Past & Future!

2010-03-10T10:55:00.000-08:00

I posted pictures a while back of a softie Owl I made for Katelyn. Check out the new one I made this weekend! He's purple and gold for LSU... he's a gift for someone who will actually be excited about LSU. :)

And... for a future project, check out these pretty fabrics I picked up. They're so yummy! Whatever will I make with them???

Feeling Craft-y

2010-02-22T07:41:00.000-08:00

I have felt rather crafty the last week or so, motivated largely by two hand-knit hats given to Katelyn by ladies from our church. Here are the products of my crafty-ness!

Want the patterns???

They are all free patterns found online... here are links in case you're interested:

Newborn Hat with Ear Flaps
Looks Like Knit Baby Hat
Owl Softie by Mels Own Place

Life's a Dance

2010-01-23T19:09:00.000-08:00

4 photos here and more on facebook!

New Web Design... Testing iWeb

2010-01-18T13:05:00.000-08:00

I have been wanting to design a website dedicated to the Alumni from our Chi Alpha group - and decided to use it as an excuse to test out iWeb from Mac. Here are a couple of screenshots, but feel free to click on the pics to see the actual site.

edit (3/11/10): I have decided that iWeb is severely lacking in basic functionality (at least, if you do NOT have a mobile me account... not sure how it would work if I had one... but I'm not getting one so it doesn't matter) and I am no longer using it for the design of this website. I re-created the entire site in Blogger in a day, it looks just as good, and Blogger does what I need it to do without messy re-uploads to the server. Thanks Blogger!

My Daughter

2009-12-28T08:57:00.000-08:00

My life (and photography) has recently been taken over by a beautiful little girl. Introducing our first child, Katelyn.
*I did not take all of these photos

2 a.m. and the Future

2009-12-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

As I laid in bed last night staring at the fan, listening to the pat... pat... pat... pat... pat on Katelyn's back (and trying not to fall asleep myself, while desperately wishing she would just go to sleep!)... a thought occurred to me. This is a very, very short time in her life when I can actually fix almost all of her problems. One day in the near future, she will face situations and emotions that will break her heart and all I will be able to do is hold her. Now, I know firsthand (from own mother and friends along the way) how powerful that can be. But when I am beyond sleep deprived and my newborn is hellbent on staying awake at 2 a.m., it helps me enjoy these precious moments a little more.

SALT\2009 > called. NOW.

2009-10-10T10:58:00.000-07:00

The collection of promo images for Chi Alpha's annual winter retreat, SALT. I also designed a website, posters, and promo buttons in the same concept.

SFA Homecoming 2009

2009-10-06T10:54:00.000-07:00

Invitation design sent to SFA Chi Alpha alumni inviting them to SFA Homecoming events! Axe 'Em Jacks!

Altitude/2009 - Fully Equipped for the Adventure

2009-10-02T10:51:00.000-07:00

Altitude is the North Texas Chi Alpha annual retreat. This year's theme: Fully Equipped for the Adventure.

a 2-month old...

2009-09-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

With over 6 weeks until my due date, it looks like I will be delivering a 2-month old... she is 5 lbs. 12 ozs already! Isn't she beautiful???

Welcome Week Designs

2009-08-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

Every year we host two weeks worth of events to meet, welcome, and connect with freshmen on campus. This is a selection of the design work that supported our schedule of events this year.

Seemingly Random Thoughts

2009-08-09T09:44:00.000-07:00

"you never leave where you are until you decide where you'd rather be." (Gabrielle Beaty)

"All great life is the product of a great purpose taking hold of the personality and sinking our selfishness out of sight... Some cause must dissolve you, melt you, move you, burn in you, if you are going to do anything in this world." (Daniel Clark Knowles, "Lofty Purposes" from Chapel Talks)

"It's not that Christianity has been tried and found wanting but that it has been found hard and not tried."
(GK Chesterton)

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."
(Antoine de Saint Exupery)

"Every generation must have its own confrontation with God."

"²²Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: "Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. ²³For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you." (Acts 17)

"¹³When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, "Who do people say the Son of Man is?" ¹⁴They replied, "Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets."¹⁵"But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?" ¹⁶Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."" (Matthew 16)

"In the Bible we do not see man groping after God; we see God reaching after man." (John R.W. Stott)

"We know that to find God and to accept Jesus Christ would be a very inconvenient experience. It would involve the rethinking of our whole outlook on life and the readjustment of our whole manner of life. And it is a combination of intellectual and moral cowardice which makes us hesitate. We do not find because we do not seek. We do not seek because we do not want to find, and we know that the way to be certain of not finding is not to seek." (John R. W. Stott)

Church at My House

2009-08-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

I did not sleep well last night and decided to stay home from church this morning. I wanted to listen to a sermon or two online, but when the website timed out on me, I decided to check out my personal library of sermons. I ended up listening to a sermon I preached during our last semester at LSU. Aside from noticing again, as I do every time I listen to myself in recordings, that I have a much stronger country accent than I realize in daily life... that I sound very much like a combination of my friends Angie and Tara when I preach... and that I need to get control of my use of the word ummmmm... I had a few thoughts I wanted to put down in writing before they fly away (apparently another symptom of pregnancy).

"If we do not experience God, we cannot experience love."

If this statement is true, and I believe it is, the opposite is also true. As we experience God, we experience love. And not just in our relationships with Him. We know (and for some of us, learn) how to identify love in our lives by the interactions and exchanges we have with the Lord. Without God, we continually misinterpret life situations and the actions of others. But as we know God and live with Him, we learn to correctly name love in our interpersonal relationships as well.

One of the interesting things about consistent pubic speaking is the inability to separate a particular sermon from a specific season of life. This effect is magnified when the sermons are recorded. As I sat and listened to myself speaking to my LSU students, I could see our old room in the Design Building like it was yesterday. I could feel the heat of the stage lights on my face. I remember what it felt like to step in that tiny little space upfront and try to speak to a group you couldn't even see for those blinding lights. And more than all that, I remember how I felt, not just as a director/pastor/preacher, but as a human, a daughter, a wife, a friend, at that time in my life. For me, it wasn't pretty. No one probably knew at that point, but that sermon was straight out of my own life and relationship with God at that moment. But most people don't think of their pastors/preachers as being real people with real challenges and real hurts. But such was the state of my heart as I took the mic that night. I was in the midst of some real life challenges - and, completely unknown to me at that moment, I was about to enter one of the most difficult, heart-breaking, life-changing experiences of my life. I talk in the sermon about friends who have betrayed us in the past - I was about to be betrayed. I talk about the moments when you feel most alone - I was about to find myself absolutely alone. So as I listened to myself speak, it was like knowing both the beginning and the end of the story, like watching a character in a movie you've already seen - wanting to tell them not to open that door cuz the crazy ax-murderer is behind it, but you know they will anyway. And for the first time, as I "watched" myself for 43 minutes and 38 seconds, all I could see was God. Usually, when I replay that time in my life I am focused on what I could have done differently or how I felt during that process. Today I saw God. I saw Him speaking to me in small ways. I saw Him setting the stage long beforehand to prepare me for the most difficult act of my life thus far. Wow, He is so good to me.

One Body T-Shirt Design

2009-07-31T10:29:00.000-07:00

The Christian student organizations at SFA wanted a shirt to sell to current members and giveaway to freshmen that emphasized the unity among Christians on campus. This was a fun play on words and images... and they actually liked it!

It's a Girl!

2009-06-09T09:59:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how surprised I was to hear our doctor say, "Think Pink" at our ultrasound last week! But even I can look at the u/s and see... it's a girl! Baby Katelyn is on her way!

Friendship = Obedience? (aka 6 pages with Spurgeon)

2009-06-09T07:40:00.000-07:00

So, this is an interesting line of thought I've been confused about for some time. During my ongoing study of the fruit of the Spirit, I ran across this verse in John 15:

¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command.

At first reading, my thought was something like... "WHAT?!? That doesn't even make sense!"

I haven't gotten much further in my thinking since then either. I assume it has some connection with the sentence just before it:

¹³Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Either way, it has been some months since I last thought about it... until yesterday morning when I read 6 pages of a book by Spurgeon called Being God's Friend.

Referencing Hebrews 11's summation of Abraham, Spurgeon draws a comparison between obedience that is motivated by fear and obedience motivated by faith (as was Abraham's - "By faith Abraham... obeyed.") I think I have only known in life and religion the obedience motivated by fear. Let me explain. We do what we're supposed to do, and avoid what we should avoid, because we want to escape punishment. I tell Derrick constantly not to speed because I do not want to pay a ticket. As a child, I obeyed my parents' rules so as not to get spanked or grounded. As a believer, there is this constant background noise in my head saying "This is what good Christians do" or "Real Christians would never do that." All such comments are only a positive statement of fear - fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, etc.

I guess bottom line is I am confused about how friendship = obedience... maybe all of this is somehow tied into submission... I don't know. But it's fun to try and find the answers!

Heartbeat!

2009-05-07T06:18:00.000-07:00

My 15 week check-up was yesterday afternoon. We heard the baby's heartbeat, thumping away so fast it almost sounded like one consecutive tone - about 150 bpm according to Doc's ear. What a beautiful moment. :)

Belief and Action

2009-05-02T06:23:00.000-07:00

Saying you believe something is one thing, but acting on that belief is an entirely different story.

Reading through the articles in the Cornell Sun about the situation involving Chi Alpha there, I have been repeatedly struck with student and faculty's frustrations. I personally like to play devil's advocate so it has not been hard for me to see the situation from their point of view - I can understand why they are responding as they are. But this new statement, made by who I presume to be a student although no formal mention of his classification was made in his editorial, is beyond my understanding. Is he actually mad because someone believes something and acts on that belief? He talks like that is the craziest idea he's ever heard of - all of us who believe in the safety of airplanes are total idiots for booking a flight. Everyone who believes a prescription will cure their cold is ridiculous for seeing a doctor. Studying = good grades, but you're a fanatic if you spend a night in the library. This is just ridiculous.

I work in the realm of belief. I deal in issues of faith and credence. The bottom line of it all is this: everyone believes in something, and that belief absolutely affects every area of life. Even people who claim there is nothing, no God, no higher power, to believe in... they believe in nothing, and that belief will change their thoughts, actions, and attitudes.

What would the world be like if we all claimed to believe certain things, but always acted contrary?

Chi Alpha Funds Reinstated at Cornell

2009-05-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

In a huge step forward for the group, the Cornell SAFC hearing voted to reinstate Chi Alpha's university funding privileges. The hearing found that Chi Alpha had not violated any of the stated university policies - a big break-through for the group, which has faced much criticism and outright attack in the last few weeks. I am so happy for the group and its directors - maybe now they can begin to recover from this chaos!

Student Assembly Restores Funding

Empty Words: the Hypocrisy of 'Diversity' - a student's thoughts on the playing out of true diversity on campus; a little biased, but he asks good questions

Turning Towards One - thoughts on the complexity of the situation

To the Editor - are all sins equal?

To the Editor: Student group reserves the right to select its own leaders

Explaining a Complex Relationship - Statement from Matt Herman, Director of Chi Alpha

Spiritual Maturity

2009-04-24T06:50:00.000-07:00

"The only test for spiritual maturity is the fruit of the Spirit."
(Mary Gautreaux)

What is happening through you that you cannot explain?

Were your friends better for having seen you yesterday?

I am a problem-solver by nature. I love puzzles - any kind: word puzzles, sudoku, ken ken, crosswords, cryptograms, jigsaw puzzles, riddles... anything that gets my mind thinking. So learning has always been fun to me, at least the form of learning where you're not just memorizing facts. If there is something to figure out, like in math and science, I loved it. That's right - I'm probably the only math-loving artist you've ever met. I'm twisted, what can I say?

Because of my propensity towards things that need figuring out, I've always been very interested in theology and apologetics. I actually LOVE to study the Bible - not just read it, but really study it, like a textbook. So when I come upon something either in life or Scripture or reading that I don't understand, it's really exciting to me. And I will pour myself into studying that thing until I feel like I have it figured out, until I understand it.

My latest case in point has been the topic of growth / maturity / fruit of the Spirit. Aside from a recent hiatus due to morning sickness, afternoon sickness, and evening sickness, I have spent the last 4+ months reading, thinking, studying about the fruit of the spirit and several connected topics. After that much time, I feel like I have found some level of understanding. (Even though, honestly, I would like to continue studying the fruit individually for at least 6 more months...) Then there was service last night...

I realized my tendency is to study and learn and ask questions and find answers until (and only until) I reach as much understanding as I can on a given topic. Once that happens, I'm done. What this means is that I often have a good amount of understanding with no real evidence of it in my actions and attitudes. Ouch. Mary got quoted last night: The only real test of spiritual maturity is the fruit of the Spirit... and fruit is not understanding, it's being.

Monumental Changes

2009-04-23T13:49:00.000-07:00

I have been reminded in the last week how quickly everything can change. From threats of shootings on MY campus to news of a fellow Chi Alpha group under major investigation by their university... we can go to bed one night and life is normal and by the time we wake up again, everything we have known is different. Makes me remember that every moment is an opportunity - I want to make them all count for the Kingdom.

Cornell Chi Alpha

Chi Alpha Update

Student Opinion Article

Vigil Protest

To the Editor

Unfolding Nuance

To the Editor 2

Giver of Life

2009-04-03T09:15:00.000-07:00

Now I know He is the Giver of Life.

Ultimate Design?

2009-02-25T07:18:00.001-08:00

Logo for our Chi Alpha Ultimate Frisbee team:

A fun application of the logo (probably for use on a Facebook group/event):

Misc Design Projects

2009-02-19T10:29:00.000-08:00

New header and companion images for the SFA XA blog:

Ad package for our upcoming camping trip:

Ad package for district Chi Alpha retreat back in October 2008:

Ad package for SFA Chi Alpha event:

Prayer

2009-02-19T10:05:00.000-08:00

The reason we do not pray is because we think we can do "it" or we don't think He will.

"I was born in a Christian home, nurtured by Christian parents, and by that fact graciously and tenderly spared from many of the vulgarities of godlessness. Consequently Mount Sinai with its thunder never made me tremble, never brought deep conviction of sin to my heart. I have always sympathized with the young ruler who confronted by the six final words of the decalogue, could yet look into the face of incarnate purity and say, 'All these things have I observed from my youth.' But when I came to stand consciously, not at the foot of the mount which might not be touched, but on the green hill outside the city wall, and saw in the mystery of that passion and pain the revelation of the heart of God, the self-sacrificing, self-denying heart of God, I knew what a sinner I was. When I came into the presence of God as love I found in love a light which bowed me to the dust in shame, and though my sad heart yearned to pray, I dared not take His name upon my lips, for He is love ineffable who has - let me say it reverently - denied Himself in order to help men. In the light of that love I discovered that sin does not consist in incidental acts of passing days, but in the essential attitude of selfishness. It is when Jesus brings me into the presence of the heart of God that I put my hand upon my lips and cry, 'Unclean, unclean.' I want to pray. I dare not pray. I have forfeited all right to ask for anything from such love. I need yet more than the revelation of the Father before I can pray. Thank God there is more."

--G. Campbell Morgan, The Practice of Prayer

Full Circle aka Morning Thoughts (call it a devotion if you want)

2009-02-12T05:41:00.000-08:00

The Lord continues to speak about pride, sin, knowing oneself, etc. This morning's email from the Ravi Zacharias team:

Self-Deception and the God Who Sees

I followed that up with two of my favorite verses:

Psalm 139:23
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

1 Corinthians 13:12
12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

I am really good at deceiving myself. I find devil's advocate a fascinating role to play and have perfected my skills over the years - my husband's convinced I should have become a lawyer. A detail-oriented person (that's putting it kindly), I can argue the points of one word in a sentence into oblivion! Applied to others and situations, this trait is particularly annoying - applied to myself it could be downright destructive.

There is something in me that does NOT want to see myself for who/what I really am. So I revert to childhood and pretend, make up stories, etc. But that's not maturity (something I'm learning alot about the last few months) and it's not reality.

Truth is I'm so good at avoiding the truth that if I'm ever going to really know something about myself, I will need someone else to tell me. Someone whose opinion is always just, always accurate, always filled with grace, always loving, always true. I think this was David's cry when he prayed for God to know his heart, to try (or test) his thoughts. Our God is the God Who Sees.

There is something in me that longs to be known. Maybe it's because I'm a female, I don't know. But I want to be heard... to be understood... to be known. In honest moments, I can admit that the reason I allow myself to be deceived is because I am wholly afraid that once known, I will not be accepted or loved. I think we all fear this.

Do you love grammar? I don't, but I do have a healthy respect for it! The statement in 1 Corinthians is particularly packed with grammatical interest. It is set up as a comparion between the state of things now and when "that which is perfect has come." Until you get to the last phrase. It's true that we shall know on that day. But it is not true that we wait until that day to be fully known. In the verb "I am known" a grammatical tense peculiar to the Greek language is employed - it's called aorist. The aorist tense is without respect to time. Stated positively, it can mean at any given time. We would say always. We are always fully known by God! This at once fulfills both my desire to be known and my fear of being rejected - the God of All has embraced fallen humanity!

It's in this revelation I find the greatest joy known to man - that of a sinner washed clean!

1 John 3:1

1How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

Thoughts from Years Ago

2009-02-06T15:10:00.000-08:00

Studying for my small group this coming Monday, I opened an old Word file and found this:

"Cell Group

I’m learning that when leading a small group, you never know what’s going to happen…what questions will be asked…what opinions will be stated…it’s scary…it’s what it’s all about…it’s what makes it fun.

I’m learning to a new degree that life and love are a sacrifice. I don’t always get my way. I commit to things that are hard and sometimes make me sad…things I’m not good at…things I have to work hard at…and sometimes they still don’t work. I am a part of something that is beyond my control…something that’s scary…something that’s exciting…something that fills life with purpose so that when it’s hard I keep on going, and trying, and working.

God never promised that life would be easy…that Jesus was a fix-all solution…that He would make all our troubles go away. Look at Paul, Peter, Phillip, John, Matthew…look back further to Daniel, Joseph, Abraham, Moses, Esther. We call these men and women the forefathers of our faith whose lives are used as examples and yet there were persecuted, attacked, beaten, thrown in jail. Some risked their lives and some actually gave their lives. Why? They learned peace. How so? They understood that God’s ultimate promise of eternal life in His presence was already theirs by faith. Based on their understanding of the eternal promise, they lived.

This is what it means now, as I wrote earlier, to love God enough to be contented, to love him enough in the present world to say thank you in all the ebb and flow of life. When I am dead both to good and bad, I have my face turned towards God. And this is the place in which, by faith at the present moment in history, I am to be. When I am there, what am I? I am then the creature in the presence of the Creator, acknowledging that he is my Creator, and I am only a creature, nothing more. It is as though I am already in the grave and already before the face of God.

But one thing more needs to be sounded. We must not stop here! When through faith I am dead to all, and am face-to-face with God, then I am ready by faith to come back into this present world, as thought I have already been raised from the dead. It is as though I anticipate that day when I will come back. I will be in that number, as will all who have accepted Jesus as Savior, when the heavens open and we come back, following Jesus Christ in our resurrected, glorified bodies. And so now I am ready to come back as though back from the grave, as though the resurrection had already taken place, and step back into this present historic, space-time world. “Likewise, reckon ye also yourselves dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:11)
(Francis Schaeffer, True Spirituality)

Troubles are a guarantee, especially if we’re living right before God and men. We cannot let that deter us. We must learn peace. There is something that gets me out of bed in the morning instead of curling up sick for home. There is something that urges me to build another small group lesson instead of giving up in frustration. There is something that keeps my feet and my mind and my heart planted in Texas instead of running back to Ruston. I am learning peace. I’m not saying that I’ve learned it all. I’m learning peace. Peace comes when we understand who God is, who we are, and the assurance of God’s promise of eternal life. We think that a lack of strife in our lives will bring peace; history has proven us wrong. Dissatisfaction is more prominent in prosperous nations than any other. Like Schaeffer said, "We do not live for this life." This life is over. When we became Christians, this life ended for us. Now we live for eternity. Our work on this earth has nothing to do with buying cars, building houses, making money, getting famous. It has only to do with one thing. Pleasing God. In pleasing God, we will preach to men. Not because men deserve it; but that the message deserves to be preached."

Jill Caratini - A Slice of Infinity

2008-12-24T07:12:00.000-08:00

The Gifts of Magi

I was sold on the genre of tragedy as a child at Christmastime, long before I knew anything about genres or tragedies. Jim Dillingham Young and his wife Della are the subjects of The Gift of the Magi, a short story written by O. Henry in 1906. Struggling to make ends meet in their one room apartment, Jim and Della have but two prized possessions between them: for Jim, a pocket watch given to him by his father, and for Della, her long, beautiful hair, of which even the queen of Sheba would be envious. When Christmas comes, Jim and Della have nothing to scrape together to buy even a simple gift for the other. Yet, longing to give something meaningful out of great love, each, unbeknownst to the other, sacrifices the greatest treasure of the house; Della sells her hair to buy her husband a silver chain for his beloved pocket watch, and Jim his pocket watch to buy Della pearl combs for her beautiful hair. Thus unfolds The Gift of the Magi and “the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days,” writes O. Henry, “let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest.”(1)

Some short stories tell giant lessons. For me, this was one of them. In the mind of a child, Jim and Della acted out the ultimate display of love. For the sake of the other, they released willingly from their hands the very thing they wanted to hold onto the tightest. Could I do that? I wondered. And even as I asked, I saw clearly that there were two questions in the one uttered. Could I give up the thing I want most to hold onto? But also, and maybe even more plaguing, Could I love someone like that? We learn the art of self-protection at such a young age. Sacrificial love, sacrificial giving of oneself, even when it takes a tragic or ironic turn, knocks at every wall of self-preservation with an invitation; it is terrifying but also pregnant with possibility, an invitation to the destruction of walls, but also to homecoming and new rooms.

The sacrificial birth of Christ into the world among us brings about some of the loudest knocking ever known to human hears. The gift of a Son into hands that would harm him presents a most sacrificial gift and a striking invitation to sacrifice everything to have it. C.S. Lewis writes, “The Christian way is different: harder and easier. Christ says, ‘Give me all. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want you--No half-measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent, as well as the ones you think wicked--the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.’”(2)

To each of us, Christ comes as he came to Mary herself, wanting to stretch us physically, emotionally, and socially, taking away everything, even all we might have thought good or godly of ourselves: our good names, our good futures, our innocence. Mary certainly had reasons to say “No” to the invitation that came to her on angel’s wings. She was facing an assuring future: a husband to wed, a home to create, a good reputation. Saying “Yes” to God and the words of Gabriel was to put all of this on the line, everything she had and might have once clung to. Could you do the equivalent? Could you release security, love, reputation, or even your youth from your own determined grasp? Mary’s risk was no less difficult than the most sacrificial act you could imagine of your own life. Saying “Yes” to the Christ child and to the knocking of his love will surely bring down the houses we have built, even the rooms that house the things we hold onto most fiercely.

Yet this is precisely the invitation before us: “For a child has been born for us, a son given to us; authority rests upon his shoulders; and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6). He comes with the annunciation of great sacrifice and pregnant impossibilities, and he assures us not to be afraid. Where meek and foolish souls give everything to receive him, they still find themselves the wisest.

More Thoughts on Growth

2008-12-21T18:19:00.000-08:00

"There are some things which can only be grown - they cannot be made."
--Earl Creps

Early Morning Thoughts

2008-12-19T06:06:00.000-08:00

A man may study because his brain is hungry for knowledge, even Bible knowledge. But he prays because his soul is hungry for God.
--Leonard Ravenhill

Zechariah 4 - "Who despises the day of small things?"

The foolish man says he has no need of God - but it will be scarier still for the one who says he has need of Him, but lives like he doesn't.

The greatest need we have is not to do things, but to believe things.
-Oswald Chambers

Why aren't they hungry? Because they don't have to be - they are entertained.

"Entertainment is the devil's substitute for God's joy."
--Leonard Ravenhill

Leonard Ravenhill said "we don't have revival because we are content without it." But what is revival? What does it really look like? I remember during all the amazing stuff that happened that one semester at Sam, Daniel Savala kept saying, "If it's really revival, your grades will go up." I thought that was weird.

Growth is not more knowledge or increase of years: it is simply more of Him and less of me. He increases as I decrease. This is what it means to be a disciple.
--Chip Brogden (from watchman.net)

Psalm 103: "He made known His ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel."
* I know much of His deeds - the Bible stories from Sunday school, history lessons about the church... but I know little to nothing of His heart, or of why He has done the things He has done.

"One hundred religious persons knit into a unity by careful organization do no constitute a church any more than eleven dead men make a football team. The first requisite is life, always."
--AW Tozer

Psalm 127: "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain."

"What I have seen in the past 10 years of traveling- performing at a church one day and a casino the next- is that a lot of people in the church want to be entertained, and people in casinos want to be ministered to. That's hard to understand, but I see a hunger in the world that I don't see in the church."

Faith

2008-12-12T09:31:00.000-08:00

I think faith is important. But faith in what? Faith that I will be healed? Faith that I will get a new car? And faith for what? So I will have more money, popularity, comfort, or possessions? So I will feel secure? I think the bottom line is this:

The fact of faith is important - but so is the object of faith and the motivation for our faith.

Conglomeration of Thoughts

2008-12-07T19:40:00.000-08:00

Hunger / Thirst

Ezekiel had a vision once of water flowing from under the temple - the further he walked out from the temple, the deeper the water became - to the point it was a raging river that no man could cross. In the story he tells of this vision there is a phrase repeated twice that has stuck in my heart the last few days: There is water."

There is water... but am I thirsty?

Years later, John records Jesus words: "IF any man is thirsty, let him come to me and drink, and rivers of living water will flow from his belly."

Songs: John Mark McMillan "How He Loves"

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Original Songs

I wrote this down during a staff meeting last school year sometime and just found it again today:

When you go on and on and on
This life don't seem so long
This pain don't seem so strong
When you go on and on and on

Still Standing

2008-11-30T06:29:00.000-08:00

Walking, stumbling
on these shadow feet
toward home, a land that I've never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when I began...

When the world is falling out from under me
I'll be found in You still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through I'll be found in You

Brooke Fraser, Shadowfeet

He Waits...

2008-11-30T05:49:00.000-08:00

Like a lover longing to be with his love
He waits to be wanted

The sweet secrets shared in moment of hush
He waits to be wanted

All beauty and loveliness hid from the light
He waits to be wanted

For the day when the seeker tears through the night
He waits to be wanted

I want you, Lord
(x4)

He waits
He waits
He waits to be wanted
(3x)
by You

My Conversation Last Night

2008-11-30T05:46:00.000-08:00

In the car on the way home from Ihop...

Kristen: Those guys desperately needed Jesus.
Me: As if there is another way to need Him.
Michael: Right, like, yeah, I could kinda need Him?

Wow, I think they're really onto something there.

Thanksgiving with the Normans

2008-11-28T06:25:00.000-08:00

Growth?

2008-11-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

QUESTIONS:

How do you tell if something is growing? (By what is growth measured?)
How is growth stimulated?

Should Be...

2008-11-20T14:44:00.000-08:00

I have realized the source of the majority of my frustrations in life, and I admit they are many. I think in terms of what should be, not what is, and those two things very rarely line up in my thoughts, actions, attitudes, relationships, decisions, etc.

Great revelation, right? But what to do about it...

Edit: I decided to come back and tag this post into the growing (pun totally intended!) list of thoughts on the subject of Growth because, even thought I certainly didn't intend it to be when I originally wrote this down, it seems to me now this is at least part of growth. Maybe. Just in case.

Guilty

2008-11-11T16:53:00.000-08:00

There have been alot of things in my life in the last year (and what a year it has been) that have forced me to wrestle with the concepts of guilt, innocence, and forgiveness. Difficult concepts when they're applied to ourselves or people we love, and I have had them applied directly in very personal ways.

I wonder how much money our country spends annually on defense attorneys. And I wonder what percentage of those clients were actually guilty? It must be piles of money, all spent to try to convince judges and juries that the guilty aren't really guilty.

THE GUILTY ARE REALLY INNOCENT.

I confess that is the state of my heart most days. I am guilty. But I want to convince myself, my family, my friends, the world, and (if possible) God that I AM INNOCENT. "It wasn't my fault - there were circumstances beyond my control - I made a mistake." I can run so hard and so fast from confession. It can be so hard to accept my own guilt. I avoid it at all costs to myself and those I care most about. I would sacrifice the happiness and emotions of my loved ones to maintain my innocence. I would never claim that as truth, but when I look back over my life I see it as a principle in my actions. Wow... what a statement.

And then there are those moments... probably some of the most sacred moments of our lives (in one sense of that word). It's in these moments we may be closest to God (and farthest from Him). The moments most pregnant with eternal possibility and significance. They are the moments I realize I am totally, completely evil (Romans 3:9-18)...

because the bottom line is this: If there is no guilt, there can be no forgiveness.

Oh, Lord, I so desperately need your forgiveness - help me not to hide from my own guilt. Help me not to white wash my life, make it look beautiful on the outside, while on the inside are dead men's bones (Matthew 23). I want to be beautiful and if the path to Your beauty takes me through guilt and brokenness, then let me open wide my arms to embrace all You say about me. I agree with You - Your judgments are always true, and Your paths always lead to peace. Give your church across this world a renewed understanding of confession, guilt, forgiveness. If we hide too long from our own guilt, you may just leave us to hide. What a scary thought!

Confession: 1) to say the same thing as another, i.e. to agree with, assent (i.e. 1 John 1:9)

SFA Shots

2008-11-11T11:17:00.000-08:00